COLUMN DIARY, a check of big headlines, small wonders and other worldly events:
March 2009
1. Not lamb nor lion, March comes in more like an upper-cable channel — a little snowy, overcast.
2. Sadly, world bids Paul Harvey “g-o-o-d day.” He was 90.
3. In attempt to un-jinx yucky end to past two seasons, Chicago Cubs announce special, opening-day 2009 Heimlich Maneuver promotion. (OK, just kidding here … although it might be fun.)
4. Ex-governor apparently now shooting to also become Blagoje-rich. Inks six-figure book deal.
5. New study shows more pornography sold in conservative, religious Red states than in more liberal Blue states. But just for the articles, of course.
6. In heart of comedy-tour comeback, Robin Williams takes time out to have heart surgery.
8. “Spring forward” time change now even “springs forward” itself. Clocks changed earlier than ever before.
9. While out with hip surgery, Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez still makes $174,900 a day.
10. AIG officials categorically deny that stands for “Ain’t I Greedy.”
11. Microsoft probes “key glitch” in severance checks to 1,400 employees. See? Even their computers apparently goof up.
12. Pop stars Chris Brown and Rihanna join Ike and Tina Turner, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown in Dysfunctional Couples Hall of Fame.
13. To answer questions about that pic of him with marijuana, Michael Phelps appears on “Today” show same week as — this is not a joke – Doobie Brothers.
14. L.A. Dodgers ink Manny Ramirez to $45 million pact. What does he think he is, an ailing bank?
14. Child actor who sang “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” unfortunately now sees Saint Peter, too. He was 70.
16. Offices across U.S. struck by something far more potentially paralyzing than just the economy – those NCAA office pools!
17. Off to jail, Bernie Madoff goes from using other people’s money to live life of a billionaire to a federally funded retirement program footed by the taxpayers.
18. Sears Tower, which will always be Sears Tower, will become Willis Tower anyway.
19. On “Tonight” Show, Barack Obama accidentally suffers bowling-shoe-in-mouth disease.
21. For all his money and success, Michael Jordan nonetheless gets teary-eyed watching his own son help Whitney Young High win state basketball title in Peoria … priceless.
21. Lance Armstrong has bike accident.
22. Matt Lauer has bike accident.
23. Longtime bachelor Bruce Willis marries.
24. Longtime bachelor David Letterman marries.
25. National Ever-Noticed-How-News-Seems-To-Come-In-Pairs? Day.
27. Best Buy has better-than-expected quarter financially, proving the times may be tough but we’ll still waste money on fun electronics.
28. Electrolux recalls 320,000 vacuums. For once, something doesn’t suck.
29. New medical study suggests because we are using so much high-protection sunscreen, we now are not getting enough vitamin D, as latest case of you-just-can’t-win unfolds.
31. War ends. Economy fine. Rod Blagojevich voted Illinois Man of The Year.
OK, just getting a slight jump on April Fools’ Day there …
Contact Bill Flick at flick@pantagraph.com. The Flick Blog: www.pantagraph.com/blogs
March Madness basketball has been usurped by familial madness and gruesome murders, the ailments of a progressively disconnected, loathsome, guilted and guilded populace, spinning and dancing in various liquor/street drug/ prescription drug addled stages of sad confusion or mindless cheer. Who dares to ask a father how and why he has come to see the lives of those he loved so well come to mean nothing if he cannot love them, feed them, nurture and care for them in the manner he was taught? Where are the families? Where are the friends? Where are the (sane) social safeguards? Who in the hell are these sacrosanct, lofty and stupid “judges”?
Who dares to explore the story eminating from Boston, MA about the murderous 23 year old who killed his 17 year old sister, severely wounding his 9 year old sister and then decapitating his 5 year old sister, before being shot and killed by a policeman? Who will delve into the hidden family angst, the totally failed medical/mental health systems and the failure of an entire “enlightened” society which is now devouring itself from the bottom, up?
Economic free-for-alls lead to economic falls for all.
Once local jobs are filled by workers imported from India (State Farm) and those workers crowd too many into small apartments, so they can send their lower wages home to help families there. Mr. Rust cleared how many millions last year?
Global competition for every job, every grain of rice, every drop of water, every fish and every barrel of oil has already spun out of control. The oceans are dying and the soils for growing food have all been leached of nutrients. The air is filled with toxins and “particulates” and water supplies are at risk. Every human secretly hopes their own country comes out on top of the new World Order pecking order and some, just as secretly and fervently, pray that Soylent Green was really just a movie and not the prequel to Century 21.
Keep on keeping track, Bill…
Looks like Leslie got up on the wrong side of the bed.
Take a chill pill, this isn’t the New York Times Op-Ed page.
Fun diary for March.
Like the Electrolux, it didn’t suck! Looking forward to April Calendar . . .
I’ll bet Leslie is a load of laughs at social gatherings.
Leslie, those thought that keep you awake to make a posting like this at 3:43am are the same thoughts that a column like this is trying to alleviate.
Try turning it over to God. That helps. Peace to you. It all starts from within.
Leslie, Americans are about winning the competition and not about sitting and whining about it at 3:43 am. Come-on…we are up against any global competition, and we will surely have to win.