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NewsSunday, July 15, 2007 10:35 PM CDT
Their lives in limbo, war wives soldier on
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NORMAL -- It’s not easy on the war wives left behind. | Photo gallery

While Kathy Murdoch’s husband is in Iraq, the Normal woman fights feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Kathi Drozs, of Clinton, copes with raising two children alone. Loneliness affects her, too, as it does Jill Dorbeck of Bloomington.

Each woman has a husband in the Illinois Army National Guard 33rd Military Police Battalion, which shipped out of Bloomington a year ago last month amid much fanfare, including hundreds of people lining the streets as the battalion left town via Veterans Parkway.

About 70 soldiers with the 33rd left the Twin Cities, including about 30 from McLean County. The unit arrived in Iraq in October.

Dorbeck’s husband, Sgt. Richard Dorbeck, a motor pool sergeant who was recently home on leave, said the wives “have it as bad if not worse than we (soldiers) do,” noting that spouses must cope not only with running their households, but with raising children alone.

While various local support groups like State Farm Insurance Cos.’ Military Affinity Group (MAG), Operation Porchlight and the Family Readiness Group help with things like home repairs, there is nothing that can replace the reliance spouses have on each other.

“We cling to each other,” said Drozs, adding she and Kathy Murdoch talk at least once and sometimes three or four times a week.

Their husbands, both named Chris, are scheduled to come home by early October.

Even with increased talk of troop reductions in Iraq, there remains no end in sight for the four-year-old war. The wives know nothing is certain — and that the military has extended deployments before.

“We’re holding our breath,” Murdoch said.

While they wait, they continue to lean on one another, talking on the telephone, doing things together outside the home and having dinner together.

The most trying times are at night.

That’s when Kathy and Chris Murdoch would discuss their days over a meal.

“With me, it hits after I put the kids to bed,” said Drozs, referring to Zachary, 5, and Morgan, 3.

Drozs, who’s been married about seven years, said Morgan has a hard time understanding why her daddy isn’t home.

For Dorbeck, “I’ve missed having someone around to smile at you and say good night.”

She said some of that missed time was made up recently during her husband’s leave.

“We took an overnight trip to Wisconsin and went to Gene’s to get ice cream,” she said.

Young marriages put on hold

Murdoch, married about a year before her husband’s deployment, said family life remains on hold more than a year after he left home.

Her work as a medical technologist at a local hospital keeps her busy. So do household projects she’d normally share with her husband, who works in supply and logistics in Iraq.

Drozs, who has worked as a probation officer, is now a stay-at-home mom. “Chris feels strongly that this is where I should be,” she said.

Both communicate with their husbands by e-mail and webcam and are proud of their husbands’ mission and appreciative of community support — as are their husbands.

Drozs said soldiers from the battalion still think back to their big Twin City sendoff.

While such community support is important, it’s also important that the women rely on each other, said Scott Vogel, a spokesman for the American Red Cross of the Heartland, which has been part of a family support group.

“They get a sense of not being alone,” he said. “We’re not only proud of the soldiers but their families.”

Though under stress, families do their best to keep the soldiers informed of what’s going on at home.

Besides using the Internet, Murdoch and Drozs communicate with their husbands by sending packages with fruit cups and beef jerky, among other items.

And their husbands return the favor, sending home flowers when they can.

The greatest gift

Flowers are fine, but Jill Dorbeck got something at the end of June far better — her husband, home on leave for about two weeks. He returned to Iraq earlier this month.

But, while he was home, he was able to celebrate his son Carter’s first birthday.

“We had family over and had cake and it was very low key,” said Jill Dorbeck, who hopes her husband of 2 ½ years will be home on schedule in October.

And even with growing opposition in the U.S. to the Iraq war, Richard Dorbeck noted how public support for soldiers hasn’t waned.

“We’re there to do a job. History will look at the rest of it,” he said.




Calling in support



There are several local support groups for soldiers serving overseas and their families:

Operation Porchlight

Created through a coalition of community groups, this organization can be contacted through the American Red Cross of the Heartland at (309) 662-0500 or the United Way of McLean County at (309) 828-7383.

Military Affinity Group (MAG)

Based at State Farm Insurance Cos., the contacts there are Sharon McCauley at State Farm at (309) 763-5527 or Curt McGinnis at State Farm at (309) 735-3864.

Family Readiness Group

The organization also serves as a resource referral to families while soldiers are away. The group meets monthly while soldiers are deployed. The contact person is LaTonya Harris at (309) 829-6594.

Central Illinois Proud Families of Marines

Formed earlier this year, the group can be reached through Penny Feehan at (309) 828-0190. The group meets once a month and has a Web site, www.cipfm.us, and e-mail at waiting4return@yahoo.com.

SOURCES: Scott Vogel of the American Red Cross of the Heartland; LaTonya Harris; Sharon McCauley and Penny Feehan.

Compiled by Bob Holliday




Sgt. Chris Murdoch:

-- Deployed in June 2006 to southern Iraq; works in logistics and supply.

-- Joined the U.S. Navy shortly after high school and has served 12 years of active duty.

-- Earned a bachelor’s degree in management information systems from the University of Central Oklahoma in 1998 and began working with State Farm Insurance Cos., where he’s a technical analyst in the systems department.

-- Earned a master’s degree in business administration in 2001 from Illinois State University.

-- Re-enlisted with the Guard after Sept. 11, 2001.

Warrant Officer Christopher Drozs:

-- Deployed with the Illinois Army National Guard 33rd Military Police Battalion to Iraq and is in charge of the motor pool and transportation.

-- Has served in the Illinois Army National Guard for 16 years.

-- Earned a B.S. from the University of Illinois in 1996.

-- Has worked full-time since 1998 for the National Guard as a motor shop supervisor in Decatur.

SOURCE: State Farm’s Military Affinity Group (MAG)




Costs of war

15: Deployed Illinois National Guardsmen and women killed since 9/11. (14 Army, 1 Air Force).

3,996: U.S. troops who died in support of wars in Iraq (3,589) and Afghanistan (407).

1,150: Illinois Army (1,000) and Air National Guard (150) members currently deployed.

12,500: Enlisted members of the Illinois Army (9,500) and Air National Guard (3,000).

12 months: The Pentagon’s goal for maximum tours of duty for Guard members, but conditions have kept many tours at about 18 months.

92,000: Number of troops Defense Secretary Robert Gates wants to add to the active Army (65,000) and Marine Corps (27,000) in the next five years.

94,083: Number of Army National Guard and Army Reserve mobilized.

275,000: Guard members nationwide mobilized for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

347,000: Enlisted Army National Guard soldiers.

$12 billion: Monthly costs to U.S. taxpayers for Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

SOURCES: Associated Press; American Forces Press Service; Illinois National Guard’s public affairs staff; Washington Post

Compiled by Ryan Denham




Central Illinois at war



General events

Sept. 11, 2001: The U.S. goes on high alert after terror attacks; Illinois Army National Guard aids security efforts at airports as part of Operation Noble Eagle.

Oct. 7, 2001: War in Afghanistan begins.

Jan. 8, 2003: The Chicago-based 244th Army Liaison Team is first Illinois Guard unit deployed after 9/11, supporting the war in Afghanistan.

March 20, 2003: U.S. invasion of Iraq begins; that same day, Marine Capt. Ryan A. Beaupre of St. Anne dies in Kuwait.

March 29, 2003: First member of Illinois Guard killed since 9/11; Staff Sgt. Jacob L. Frazier of the Illinois Air National Guard killed in Afghanistan.

May 23, 2004: Army Spc. Jeremy L. Ridlen of Maroa dies in Iraq.

Oct. 6, 2004: Army Guard Spc. Jessica L. Cawvey of Mahomet killed in Iraq.

Jan. 10, 2005: Army Cpl. Daniel Castillo of Streator, an Iraq war veteran, dies in exercise at Fort Campbell, Ky.

Jan. 27, 2005: Marine Cpl. Jonathan S. Beatty of Streator dies in Iraq.

Feb. 24, 2005: Army Staff Sgt. Daniel G. Gresham of Lincoln dies in Iraq.

Aug. 5, 2005: Marine Gunnery Sgt. Terry W. Ball of East Peoria fatally wounded in Iraq.

Oct. 28, 2005: Army Guard 1st Lt. Debra A. Banaszak, formerly of Clinton and Sullivan, dies in Kuwait.

May 13, 2006: Army Spc. Ronald W. Gebur of Delavan dies in Iraq.

Early October 2006: Army specialists Kristofer Walker and George Obourn Jr., both from Creve Coeur and graduates of East Peoria Community High School, die in Iraq.

March 15, 2007: Marine Lance Cpl. Raymond J. Holzhauer of Dwight dies in Iraq.

May 26, 2007: Army Spc. Francis Trussel of Lincoln dies in Iraq.

Delavan-based Headquarters and Headquarters Detachment, 1144th Transportation Company

April 22, 2007: About 60 soldiers from the Delavan-based Headquarters and Headquarters Detachment, 1144th Transportation Company deploying to Kuwait for the Iraq war for up to one year. This is the unit’s first mobilization for the war on terror. Deployment is only for 12 months instead of the usual 18.

Summer 2007: Unit is stationed at forward operating bases in Iraq and Kuwait.

Streator-based 1744th Transportation Company

June 2006: Streator-based 1744th Transportation Company mobilized for Iraq war.

Early October 2006: 1744th Transportation Company arrives in Iraq after time in Kuwait and at Camp Atterbury, Ind. The 190 soldiers of the 1744th were sent to Camp Anaconda near Balad, north of Baghdad.

September 2007 – Streator unit expected to return; unit is providing roadside security on the route between Kuwait and northern Iraq.

Bloomington-based 33rd Military Police Battalion

Early May 2006: Bloomington-based Headquarters 33rd Military Police Battalion mobilized for the Iraq war as security forces. About 75 soldiers are called up for up to one year, and this is the unit’s first deployment since 9/11.

June 25, 2006: Deployment ceremony for the Bloomington-based 33rd MP Battalion.

October 2006: Unit arrives in Iraq

October 2007: The unit is scheduled to return from overseas.

SOURCES: Illinois National Guard’s public affairs office; Pantagraph archives; Associated Press; Washington Post

Compiled by Ryan Denham

Take a look
Kathi Drozs, left, and her two children Zach, 5, center, and Morgan, 3, chalk draw with Kathy Murdoch Tuesday (July 3, 2007) in Normal. (Pantagraph/CARLOS T. MIRANDA)
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Reader comments on this story - 19 total

Note: All views and opinions expressed in reader comments are solely those of the individual submitting the comment, and not those of the Pantagraph or its staff.

Reply to realy heros? wrote on Jul 25, 2007 8:12 AM:

" Ma'am, I think it is unfair to state that many soldiers in your opinion do not follow the Army values. I think if there was an issue with your spouse cheating on you it is due to underlying issues in your marriage not the Army or armed forces. If you want to see your issues in print or on TV go to the Jerry Springer show. Your complaint belittles the Army, Spouses of the services, the unit and their accomplishments. Don’t drag everyone into your ill relationship tiff with your husband. Wives and spouce's back home cheat too so what values would you call that? Army spouse's values?? It is a double edge sword so don’t cut your self when you poke at others. GOD SPEED to the deployed 33d MP soldiers Happily married and deployed JB "

HAPPY TO SERVE wrote on Jul 25, 2007 1:02 AM:

" This comment is for the ignorant people like 8 up who believe we serve because we bought the ticket. I guess he forgot about 911 and that people actually care that our way of life was being attacked. 8 up I bet if you were oppressed you would be more willing to let us die for your vanity. I serve because I love being free and so dunces like you (8 up) can share freedom and freedom of speech rights. Anyone who serves their fellow man with selfless service that has noble achievements is a hero. From troops to aid workers when their hearts are dedicated to cause with devotion towards their accomplishment for the better of mankind there are many hero’s out there. 8 up, when was the last time you performed selfless service? By the way 8 up, look up the word hero in the Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary and see your freedom of speech makes you look like a fool too. A hero has numerous meanings and the soldiers of the 33rd are just that HERO’S. Thanks to the 33rd for serving! "

SSG D wrote on Jul 21, 2007 11:43 PM:

" To 8up, "seriously are you that starved for attention you have to take a shot at someone who is defending your ignorance?" I ask you this have you been shot at? Seen a good friend die? Had someone attempting to blow you up while you sleep? Had to go attempt to recover a vehicle that is almost unrecognizable? Gone days without sleep? And done it for over a year's time in extreme environments and temperatures? I highly doubt it. To As long as God's listening to prayers. Yes it would be nice to have peace, However if you read the same bible I read , to achieve that so called peace jesus was crucified. And you might recall what the arch angles did too. As a soldier the thought of peace is the end goal, but to obtain that you may have to battle and go through war. I pray everyday for my fellow soldiers and their families that god willing they make it home. And I couldn't thank the community enough for all of their support. It is truly overwhelming. thanks "

Really Heroes? wrote on Jul 17, 2007 8:29 PM:

" Many of the men and women serving our country deserve the title of hero. The sad truth is many of them do not follow the Army code of values. Integrity, duty, loyalty, respect, selfless service, personal courage and most of all honor. Take it from a spouse of a 33rd soldier. The article was about wives and the struggles they deal with while their soldiers are away. What about those of us whose marriages and lives fall apart due to total disregard from our soldiers? Infidelity is rampant overseas and nobody is immune to it. Hail them as heroes if you will, but please realize that it is not all what it seems. I have great respect for all military wives and families the are forced to remain vigilant on the homefront. Good luck to you all. "

Sick of this wrote on Jul 15, 2007 11:25 PM:

" Yes, Grateful, it is nice that we have the freedom to state our opinions? In fact, I view it as my patriotic duty. I would be a coward if I just turned my head when I saw something criminal, and that is exactly what I see in this administration. What you should fear is the day that nobody expresses their dissent. That will truly be the day that freedom dies. "

Standing my ground wrote on Jul 15, 2007 9:28 PM:

" We may not agree with what our countries leadership is doing with our military members or with the situation(s) at hand, but we have to remember the men and women from our hometowns, neighborhood, and even our own homes have answered the call to fight and defend our way of life. Like it or not they are there and will remain there for a long time to come. I am not only one of those wives left behind but am also a service member. I will wait and pray for my husband's safe return while I support him every way I can. And if I too am called for duty, I will stand my ground and defend my country so our children and our children's children will also have the freedom we know and love. Right or wrong, we are in this. Please don't loose heart and forget about them. You too can stand your ground by continuing to pray and support those service members you know and love each and every day. "

The Jackal wrote on Jul 15, 2007 8:01 PM:

" You know, it'll be really funny if it turns out there is no God, that it's all just science and Big Bang and evolution. Can you imagine that? Just think of how many millions of people, billions of dollars, and years we would have wasted fighting wars over something that never existed. That would make me fall down laughing. "

I respect wrote on Jul 15, 2007 6:18 PM:

" these women so much. I have been there- my Marine husband went to Iraq 3 times. I was lucky enough to only have to care for myself though. The women who suddenly have to become single parents have a much harder time, in my opinon. So kudos to these women, and stay strong! 12 months down ladies! "

8 up wrote on Jul 15, 2007 5:20 PM:

" these soldiers are not heroes. they are just doing their job. buy the ticket..take the ride. "

Re: Grateful wrote on Jul 15, 2007 2:38 PM:

" Please tell me exactly what this conflict in Iraq has to do with 9/11? Oh yeah, you can't, because it has nothing to do with 9/11! You just continue to believe the garbage Bush, Cheney, et. al is spewing at you. 3,000 plus have died already in the fiaso, how many more are going to die in vain for NO REASON AT ALL??!! "

Proud to be an American wrote on Jul 15, 2007 1:35 PM:

" The heat, the enemy, the lack of modern-day conveniences that we take for granted here in the US, etc is what makes each and every one of these men and women in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world incredible people. I am in sheer awe that these people put their life on the line every day that they are there. God Bless each and everyone of them! "

Grateful wrote on Jul 15, 2007 11:46 AM:

" I am so grateful for our brave soldiers. I am glad that they have the courage to fight for our countries freedom. I am sure all of the victims of 9-11 would be proud also. Isn't it nice that we have the freedom to state our opinions "sick of this"? I am grateful to Mr. George W Bush for having the courage to stick with his plan. It is also nice to know the other side of this war...when my brother was there he was thanked daily by the Iraqi people...for his courage to help them. They are grateful to us. God knows the sacrafice these men and women are making by defending our country...He will bless them, maybe not in our life time, but definatly in the next. "

As long as God's listening to prayers... wrote on Jul 15, 2007 11:16 AM:

" ... let's ask for a real miracle: like stopping war. What if all the warriors woke up tomorrow, took a look at their weapon of choice, and said, "Nah: I think I'll just sleep in today, maybe take in a movie, and then start job hunting." "

question? wrote on Jul 15, 2007 10:18 AM:

" Is this a good idea posting to much information about those overseas so predators of all kinds can take advantage of the families left behind? Not good in my opinion with the way things are in todays world. Story is ok but leave out the last names etc to protect these people. They have it tough enough as it is. "

Pantagraph wrote on Jul 15, 2007 9:58 AM:

" Please remember that there are Navy and Airforce members who are deployed as well. Many Navy reservists have served since the war began either as a battalion or as individual augmentees. Army and Air National Guard are not the only ones touched by this-Thank you! "

Wife of a reservist wrote on Jul 15, 2007 9:55 AM:

" I can completely appreciate what these families are going through as my husband was deployed twice, once for 13 months. There was only one other family in the area whose reservist went as well the second time. There was not all this overwhelming support for us because our guys left with a group from another area. I think it is great how the community has pulled together for these families. Whether or not it is volunteer doesn't make having your spouse away for so long any easier. Active duty families that must experience this have so much in place to help them and it never gets easier. God bless you all and keep strong!!! It will be over soon and you will have all new adjustments to make. "

Clark Family wrote on Jul 15, 2007 8:10 AM:

" We hope God blesses these and other military families for their sacrifice and service. We owe you a debt of gratitude. Thank you so very much. "

Sick of this wrote on Jul 15, 2007 12:38 AM:

" The Iraqi government will be taking the month of August off. According to Tony Snow, they need the vacation because it's 130 degrees in Bagdad. Yet our brave soldiers will be policing their streets with heavey gear on, risking their lives around every corner. Is it just liberal ol' me, or is something wrong with this picture? Time to show real support for our troops and get them out of that hell hole! "

Susan wrote on Jul 14, 2007 9:25 PM:

" May God Bless all of our troops and families and give then a BIG HUG and THANKS for all they do. Freedom isn't free .... "

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