Pantagraph.com Weather forecast, local radar and more
NewsThursday, September 13, 2007 4:42 PM CDT
Comments Comments (40) | E-mail this page E-mail this page | Print this page Print this page | Enlarge type Enlarge type | Reduce type Reduce type | Search archives Search archives | RSS RSS feeds | Add to My Yahoo! Add to My Yahoo!
Woman who killed minister husband talks to Oprah Winfrey
By Tara Burghart
Associated Press Writer
Advertisement

CHICAGO -- The woman who killed her minister husband with a shotgun indicated in an interview broadcast Wednesday that she is surprised to already be free from prison.

Talk show host Oprah Winfrey asked Mary Winkler whether she felt she had served enough time for the crime.

“There’s no amount of time I think you can put on something like this,” Winkler said. “No, I just was ready for them to lock the door and throw away the key.”

Winkler, 33, shot Matthew Winkler in the parsonage of Fourth Street Church of Christ in Selmer, Tenn., on March 22, 2006. She was convicted of voluntary manslaughter, but served only five months in jail, followed by two months in a mental institution.

The interview was Winkler’s first since her release and was taped in Mississippi, Winfrey told her audience in Chicago.

Winkler -- wearing a pink V-neck sweater, a pearl necklace and pearl earrings -- said she regrets not speaking up for herself in what she portrayed as an abusive marriage.

“I just was worn out from trying to remember everything, and trying to do it as he would like it. It just was too much,” she said.

“I will always grieve ... where I failed Matthew in not bringing it to his attention how bad it was,” Winkler said.

Winkler sometimes hesitated before answering Winfrey’s questions and several times had to be pressed for details.

Winkler said on the morning of his death, her husband was trying to get their youngest daughter to go back to sleep by putting his hand over the baby’s nose and mouth.

“Really, you have to explain that, because that doesn’t make any sense to me or anybody else who’s hearing this,” Winfrey said.

“I don’t understand it myself,” Winkler said.

Winkler told Winfrey she just wanted to talk to her husband, and didn’t remember picking up a shotgun kept in a closet or shooting it. She said she suddenly heard a boom, and thought she had hit a window or the ceiling, and ran from the room because her husband would be angry with her.

Winkler said she never thought of killing her husband, even though she alleged he was rageful, controlling and pressured her to perform “unnatural” sexual acts.

“I felt so dependent on him I couldn’t imagine life without him,” she said.

The couple’s three daughters are in the custody of her former in-laws, Dan and Diane Winkler. They are seeking to terminate her parental rights and adopt the girls.

In court filings, Winkler is seeking custody of her children, or at least frequent visits.

“I’m their mother,” Winkler said. “I did not want any of this to happen.”

Winkler said she thinks of her husband often.

“I do love him, I think of the good times -- the dreams,” she said. “That’s my girls’ daddy. I love Matthew. It was very bad, but it could be very good.”

Take a look
Mary Winkler enters a courthouse, Saturday, April 14, 2007, in Selmer, Tenn. Bank tellers testified Saturday that a preacher's wife accused of murdering her husband was in financial trouble and that the bank had caught her trying to deposit bad checks. Investigators say Winkler, 33, admitted shooting her husband and that it had something to do with his constant criticism. (AP Photo/Russell Ingle)
Video
Most commented stories
Browse online archives
Recent issues:
Reader comments on this story - 40 total

Note: All views and opinions expressed in reader comments are solely those of the individual submitting the comment, and not those of the Pantagraph or its staff.

Michael wrote on Mar 19, 2008 11:25 PM:

" Oh, Boo Hoo, if your husband isn't nice to you...LEAVE HIM. If you kill him, you go to jail, no more life for you, and your kids go to adopted foster care, no more life for them. Because you feel unloved you are going to kill everyone in the house...how selfish can you be! "

For the love of crapes..... wrote on Sep 23, 2007 5:50 PM:

" I wonder if Ted Bundy felt like 'he had to do what he felt he had to do'? There was probably no way out for him. He should have gotten 6 months therapy. "

I think anyone CAN POSSIBLY be justified wrote on Sep 16, 2007 1:31 PM:

" in murdering another IF their own life is threatened. I've heard of MANY abuse cases where I felt murder was justifiable. But, in this woman's case, was her s afety at risk, or her life EVER in danger? It sounds like the level of "abuse" she suffered NEVER entered that realm. Actually, it seems at worst her situation was at times annoying- never even burdensome, troublesome or problematic. Her own testimony supports this. So, MURDER? Uh-Uh. I ain't buying it at all. Take CRAZY across the street 'cause I ain't buying any at this door. "

Come On! wrote on Sep 16, 2007 9:23 AM:

" I am no buying the argument that she HAD to kill this guy because he abused her. No am I buying the explanation that I would have to be abused to understand her frame of mind and why she KILLED SOME ONE. She said herself she cannot believe she is free. There needs to be less of this magic wand granting the abusee the right to do anything to the abuser. "

HE WAS ASLEEP! wrote on Sep 14, 2007 4:21 PM:

" HOW MUCH DEFENSE DID SHE NEED? HE WAS ASLEEP FOR GODS SAKE. HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY HIM GETTING SHOT IN THE BACK WHILE ASLEEP? I COULD GO FOR THIS IF IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEATED ARGUMENT OR ATTACK BUT HE WAS ASLEEP.. THIS WAS NOT JUSTIFIED AND SHE SHOULD BE IN JAIL AND NEVER SEE HER KIDS AGAIN. WHAT IF SHE WAS TO DO THIS TO ONE OF HER CHILDREN AND MAKE UP SOME COCKAMAMEE SORRY FOR THAT ONE TOO. "

WHAT... wrote on Sep 14, 2007 8:47 AM:

" She did not SEE her mother shoot her father, she heard the gun go off and ran to the bedroom!!! And she DOES deserve her children back!!! YES she did what she THOUGHT she had to do. He was domineering, and NEVER would of allowed a divorce. I have a friend in Selmer TN, and she told me about the man. She knew him!! And his wife ALWAYS seemed scared of him. Everyone always commented on it, then she kills him. Meaning there must of been some truth!!! And his parents are going to corrupt her children against her. My friend says his parents are WEIRD!! "

RE: Leave her alone~ wrote on Sep 14, 2007 7:09 AM:

" I'll give ya credit, she did have nice props for her to get away with killing her husband, and she should be able to see her kids with strict, monthly supervised visits, cuz ya know one of her daughters might still be scared because she SAW HER MOTHER SHOOT HER FATHER, and might think she'll do the same thing while she is SLEEPING and completely unable to DEFEND herself. Yeah, she did what she had to do............sick!!! "

This woman wrote on Sep 14, 2007 6:45 AM:

" gives REAL abuse victims a bad name. Her ordeal will set back progress made in this area thirty years! What a travesty. "

LEAVE HER ALONE... wrote on Sep 13, 2007 11:37 PM:

" She did what she thought she had to do. For some woman, especially being preachers wife, its not easy to just up and divorce the man. She loved him, as any woman does love their husband no matter what, and didn't want all the nasty secrets to come out. And of course NO ONE else seen the abuse, he was a man of the lord that had a reputation to uphold, and she didn't want to bring that upon him, alive at least. I don't think she ever wanted it to come out...but it had to. Its obvious she is from a god fearing background as well and those platform shoes, wig, and skimpy outfit that was at the trial, is certainly not something she found natural. He SHOULD have respected her enough not to make her do anything she felt was unnatural!! Now GIVE HER HER CHILDREN BACK!!!!!! "

Re: Don't agree with supporters- wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:36 PM:

" You have no idea what my situation is, and I never bashed you, other than to talk with women at a shelter. To compare the Burning Bed with this situation is appualing, since there is no comparison. "

To: I disagree with you wrote on Sep 13, 2007 5:14 PM:

" supporters - I HAVE been to a women's shelter and I HAVE talked to many, many women in this situation as a part of my job. Yes, I have Oprah recorded and have seen the interview several time. Yes, I have had a husband who tried to murder me. Yes, I did try to defend myself, but didn't have a gun; only a ball bat. Did you ever see "The Burning Bed." Until you have been there and 'done that', you do not have a clue as to what one might do to protect themselves. Sometimes women are in a situation in which they have NO WAY OUT! "

drugs vs murder wrote on Sep 13, 2007 1:46 PM:

" The reason why drug dealers get sent away for life is because the government got robbed of the tax dollars. Murder doesn't make money. Look at Capone...he wasn't taken down for the countless murders he took part in and had ordered...he went down for tax evasion. What's that tell you!! "

WOW!! wrote on Sep 13, 2007 1:24 PM:

" Will someone explain to me why it is that pedefiles and murderers get to walk the streets and spend virtually no time in jail.....but if someone has the slightest bit of drugs anywhere around them they are locked up for years...???? If you ever really pay attention to the news than you would notice that discusting and heinous crimes that just shock the nation are commited by those who have already been in jail (usually a number of times) and got off for some lame excuse. Bottom line.....most could be prevented. P.S. I was abused for years almost to the point of death several times............but I never killed anybody or even thought about it. There are other ways. "

To: Yada Yada: wrote on Sep 13, 2007 1:05 PM:

" Great response. He/she is like most, not all, of the responders here online. Ignorant and ready to blame everything on religion, Democrats, Republicans, or any other group they care to. When the one to blame is the individual. "

blah...blah...blah!!! wrote on Sep 13, 2007 12:41 PM:

" I don't want to hear that abused people don't have a choice. Everyone has a choice...get out of the situation! Call the police, take your kids and get the hell out of Dodge! Abused people need to step up and take the initiative to leave their abuser and have the responsibility as a parent to make sure the kids are removed from the situation. "

ONLY IN AMERICA- wrote on Sep 13, 2007 10:19 AM:

" THE DUMBING OF AMERICA CONTINUES- Thanks Oprah for making a murderer a star on TV.... She should be spending her remainder of life in prison. In the liberal left America we live in today people can murder and rape with no concequences what so ever by using some lame-less defense. She also uses selective memory recall for the incident for questions she doesn't want to answer. Thus she doesn't remember shooting him or picking up the shotgun.... Yeah OK GIVE ME A BREAK... Some people can believe that but, I don't for a minute. I also believe God has a place for these kind of people so she will have to answer for her actions here on earth, just as OJ Simpson will see at the end of his pathetic life- THE DUMBING OF AMERICA CONTINUES- JUST READ SOME OF THE POSTINGS !!!! "

re: to Hmmm wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:55 AM:

" good point what if?.... no special treatment "

YadaYada wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:54 AM:

" Hey "Zeolots Can't Deal", this same story unfolds dozens and dozens of times each year, where some "emotionally abused" wife kills her husband and gets away with it. And, you know something, there, "Zeolots Can't Deal", 90% of the time when such a husband is killed, he is not a religious fanatic and neither is the wife. We don't know, but maybe he was just another jerk, but for sure he was not a jerk where murder was justified. This matter just became sensationalized due to the religious aspect of the case. And, Andrea Yates didn't kill her babies because she and her husband were religious; she killed them because she had been a walking psychiatric timebomb for years, under constant doctors care and taking prescription medication with intermittant periods of institutionalization. She turned to religion out of desperation like so many people do when they feel helpless, otherwise. It's people like you that are the hypocrites, blaming the blameless. You are purely evil, without any decency and respect for anyone or anything. "

To: McMinnville, TN wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:43 AM:

" I'd smile big and be as polite as heck to anyone who has no compunction to blast me to smithereens. I think her neighbors are probably walking on eggshells. Anything else you need Ms. Winkler? "

To just deal and move on wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:32 AM:

" I think women are held to a high standard. The only thing is they still don't get the benefits men do. (ie: equal pay, recognition, advancements) at least in the working world. I believe people like you still think we need to be at home cooking and cleaning. If men made enough money to support us I am sure there are several women that would like to stay home. Sure would make it a lot easier to get the cleaning and laundry done if we didn't have to work too. "

To: Oh, well she says so wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:29 AM:

" You said it perfectly. There were other witnesses other than this screwball and her father that testified as to what the husband SUPPOSEDLY did. You have women that have free reign on what they do by simply stating "I was Abused." even if there are no police reports or other evidence. Try a man doing the same thing or in a Divorce case the man indicating the wife was abusive to the kids, showed no interest in the kids or helped the kids with homework. Who will get custody, 9 times out of 10 it will be the woman. "

To Have Any Of You wrote on Sep 13, 2007 9:20 AM:

" you tell me what church condones murder? You tell me what church condones revenge? You tell me what church tolerates its' members going on national television to try to explain away why they killed their husband. Now I too am from the south and I understand perfectly about southern baptists and the other religious secs of that part of the country. I also know that for a minister in the south appearances are everything. All this woman would have had to have done is call police and report this alleged abuse one time and that minister would have been out of a job immediately. Southerners don't cotten to preachers participating in wife beating, never have and never will. This woman planned and carried out the execution of her husband and to away with it; period. "

Just deal and move on wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:56 AM:

" Don't ever think women will be held to the same standards as men. Let it go. It will drive you nuts. "

To: To continue my ......... wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:50 AM:

" I guess you were talking to the wrong people. Or maybe they were afraid she'd shoot them too. "

Please~ wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:47 AM:

" We are adults here (I'm assuming, the kids should be at school if not sick) Let's all respectfully submit our opinions, agreeing or not. Let's discuss this this, and not bash eachother because our opinions are not agreed with. Thank-you. "

To: Hmmm wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:32 AM:

" So being an 'abused woman' gives you special status? How about 'forced gang member' or 'harrassed neighbor'? Maybe Dylan and Kyle should be given a pass for going ape at Columbine? They certainly were bullied. Feel compassion for them? "

Adults wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:31 AM:

" As a college educated adult she should of known there were resources available to help her escape the abusive treatment. I watched the interview & you do have to wonder if she got off easy - very hard unless you have all of the evidence. She shot her husband in the back while he was asleep - one of the children came to the door & witnessed it. She should not have her children back until she understands that this is not how you solve problems. We need to raise children to stop all abuse - stop the cycle. If the children are not taken and given a loving nurturing family then you might need to worry if they will repeat. "

Oh, well she says so wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:29 AM:

" How does anyone know the man was abusive? Because she testified to it? Her father backed her up? Anyone else (suspiciously no others testified)? She had to demonize him to avoid a 1st degree conviction. This is how people get off. "

To: Have any of you who & Hmm wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:25 AM:

" I can only assume you got out without blowing a hole in someone's back. "

I disagree with you supporters of this murderer. wrote on Sep 13, 2007 8:19 AM:

" There are many levels of abuse, and her killing her husband dos'nt justify it. I suggest you find a way to watch the interview, or again if you did'nt understand it. UH, Well, no he did'nt hit me much, and YES-she did kill him to FIND HERSELF, because she was pleased she could talk and speak her mind now that he was dead. Go to a woman's shelter is and talk to them about what abuse is. I hope she NEVER gets her kids back, even more of a travesty. "

Joy wrote on Sep 13, 2007 7:07 AM:

" Why didn't she just divorce him. Is divorce a bigger sin than murder in their church? "

reader wrote on Sep 13, 2007 6:41 AM:

" I think you have your choice ,either get equal pay or get off scott free from crimes that would send a man to jail for life. "

Another Case wrote on Sep 13, 2007 6:34 AM:

" of the justice system failing. Lets reverse some of the facts....say this was a case of a man shooting/ killing his "abusive" wife....would he be out of jail now? Say this were a black woman shooting/killing her black husband....would she be out of jail now? The answer is NO on both counts. Remarkable what SOME people get away with. "

To continue my ......... wrote on Sep 13, 2007 4:24 AM:

" comment regarding "have you ever"... I was in McMinnville, TN two weeks ago. I was there for almost five days and talked to a whole lot of people. I did NOT hear one negative thing said about this woman. This is one thing that is great about that area of TN; people REALLY DO try to help one another there just like they use to in McLean County, IL where I was born and raised. She didn't kill him to 'find herself'. "

Have any of you who.. wrote on Sep 13, 2007 4:15 AM:

" have commented ever been in an abusive relationship; one in which your spouse abuses you physically, mentally, sexually and then tries to kill you? I HAVE! I also lived in this area of TN for years and I know the church affiliation that she belonged to. I still have friends who are in that particular denomination and it is TAUGHT that women WILL do as their husbands say. She had GOOD reason for doing what she did!! Until you're in that situation, you don't have a clue!! "

I too saw this interview wrote on Sep 13, 2007 2:13 AM:

" and Ms. Winfrey did an excellent job. Many in the media were concerned O. might try and portray her in a biased way to garner sympathetic support... but I feel O. interviewed in a very unbiased and at times even tough manner. I tried and tried to find something substantial in her story that could justify the extra-generous, light sentence she received and for the life of me- I cannot figure it out. Sure she suffered what I consider "very mild" abuse (if there is such a thing). The man was sometimes a jerk and although at times it seems he did physically "abuse" her in a non-severe manner (she mentions that one morning he "kicked her out of bed" with his feet... and she also mentions being made often to do a couple of what SHE perceived to be "unnatural sex acts" but she clearly said that this was NOT rape- that at the time she reluctantly gave in) I feel there was little evidence to even grant a divorce- much less to justify murder, and the light sentence. If ever there was a marriage that seemed easy to just simply walk away from- this seems it. Murder? WOW. "

Hmmm wrote on Sep 13, 2007 1:35 AM:

" I guess none of you have been an abused woman....If you haven't then shut up. "

Digs Deeper wrote on Sep 12, 2007 11:11 PM:

" This is a prime example of this nations inability to hold women equally responsible as we do men. If rolls were reversed, even all the way down to mental and physical abuse( don't say it doesn't Happen we all know it does) the man would of received life, with the promise to receive all the mental help offered at a D.O.C.facility. Murder is murder, but hey we made room for the drug dealers to spend their lives in prison, yet those who really should be in prison are on the streets. A very scary nation we live in........ "

Zeolots Can't Deal wrote on Sep 12, 2007 10:40 PM:

" Another case of what extreme religion does to people - I'm sick of the hypocrisy....can anyone say Andrea Yates? Religion does more harm than good. "

I watched this :( wrote on Sep 12, 2007 10:11 PM:

" and am greatly disturbed. She should be spending the rest of her life in prison. She claims that after he died, her life changed to where she could feel free to speak her mind and to stand up for herself. Her husband did not deserve to die so she could 'find herself". "
Add your own comments

Please read the rules before posting comments.

You must be logged in to leave comments.
If you don't have a member ID, please register.

*Member ID:
*Password:
Remember login?
(requires cookies)
  Forgot Your Password?
 
Lee Enterprises Customer Service | 301 W. Washington St., PO Box 2907, Bloomington, IL 61701-2907 | Ph. 309-829-9000 | 800-747-7323
Copyright © 2008, Pantagraph Publishing Co. and Lee Enterprises. All rights reserved. | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy