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SportsFriday, September 21, 2007 9:48 PM CDT
Kindred: Anti-doping in golf? Maybe we should sleep on it
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Who hasn’t watched Colin Montgomerie trudge from tee to green and thought, “Man, he must be on something.” Who can look Phil Mickelson in the face/chins and not think, “He’s juiced.”

Maybe you can. Maybe you haven’t tossed and turned into the wee hours, wondering aloud, “When are they going to clean up golf!”

The rest of us can sleep now. Golf’s powers-that-be announced Thursday an anti-doping policy has been adopted and could be in place as early as 2008.

Take that, John Daly.

Golf will test for anabolic steroids, hormones, stimulants, narcotics, beta blockers and masking agents. It will not test for M&Ms and Diet Coke. Guess Daly is safe after all.

Nor will it test for Marlboro, leaving U.S. Open champion Angel Cabrera in the clear. Cabrera nailed down his first major championship this summer between puffs on the fairway.

Perhaps that is when pressure intensified to bring golf in line with professional baseball, football, basketball, tennis, etc., and every Olympic sport you can think of, from track and field to curling.

Maybe anti-doping activists saw Cabrera go through two packs on the back nine and deemed it a smokescreen (sorry) for what he was really doing.

Forget that Cabrera has a sportswriter’s paunch and hasn’t missed a meal since 1982. It’s time these guys were subject to the same scrutiny as Barry Bonds!

It didn’t help that Cabrera’s high-profile win came only months after Zach Johnson prevailed at the Masters. Johnson is the accountant next door with a green jacket hanging in his closet. His boyish looks and everyman’s body surely must have raised suspicion.

Actually, it appears Gary Player helped nudge the sport toward testing. The golfing legend said at this year’s British Open a current player had confessed to him he’d used steroids, but wouldn’t provide his name.

My money’s on Craig Stadler.

Regardless, testing has arrived, and where it will lead remains to be seen. Procedures and penalties must be ironed out, but we are left with some interesting images.

Picture this: players finish their round, head to the scoring tent/trailer, sign their cards and submit a urine sample. If golf protocol is strictly enforced, that could get messy.

It’s one thing to keep a guy’s scorecard. It’s another to hold a cup and pray that he has good aim.

Truth is, golf was shamed into this by other sports. On Thursday alone, 2006 Tour de France winner Floyd Landis was given a two-year ban from cycling for a positive doping test, and a former clinic operator was sentenced to 18 months in prison for providing steroids to inline skating champion Corey Gahan, who was suspended from competition in 2005.

If you can test/suspend a guy riding a bicycle and a teenager on roller blades, why not a 40-year-old swinging a pitching wedge?

Even chess — yes, chess — has tinkered with drug testing. Players at the Asian Games in December were tested. The World Chess Federation hoped that by raising international standards, chess might eventually be recognized as an Olympic sport.

Tough to imagine how steroids would help win a chess match. Roid Rage meets Rook Rage. Is that really what we’ve come to?

Sadly, yes.

Few sports enjoy the history, tradition and etiquette of golf. Even in an era of multimillion dollar paydays, it has retained a gentlemanly quality. Players respect and adhere to its long-standing rules and regulations.

The game can be relaxing, entertaining, challenging and maddening, all in the same round.

But dirty?

That’s not even on the radar.

Yes, tee shots are traveling farther down the fairway. Courses have been lengthened in response to booming drives. Does that mean players are enhanced, or should the focus be on equipment? As with racquets in tennis, technology has had a major impact on golf clubs and balls.

Still, it’s far more trendy and politically correct to test Tiger Woods than a 5-iron. Proving innocence has become the priority in sports, one sample at a time.

So here’s your cup, Mr. Woods.

Fore!

Randy Kindred is a Pantagraph columnist. To leave him a voice mail, call 820-3402. By e-mail: rkindred@pantagraph.com. The Randy Kindred Blog is at www.pantagraph.com/blogs

Get area high school sports scores and statistics at Varsity Sports.

Take a look
John Daly watches his drive off of the fifth tee during the first round of the Turning Stone Resort Championship PGA golf tournament Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007, in Vernon, N.Y. Daly dropped out after seven holes due to flu-like symptoms. (AP Photo/John Haeger)
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Reader comments on this story - 8 total

Note: All views and opinions expressed in reader comments are solely those of the individual submitting the comment, and not those of the Pantagraph or its staff.

yello wrote on Sep 21, 2007 3:17 PM:

" 90-95 is not scratch golf Mr. Seriously. No big deal though, just wouldn't go posting those drives as if they are impressive either, unless you are bunting the ball off the tee. "

Dr. Hook wrote on Sep 21, 2007 11:01 AM:

" While Kindred tries to make this all look very silly, professional golfers do have their ailments. I doubt steroids are much of an issue, but pain medications and amphetamines certainly could be. A sport tries to be proactive in preventing drug abuse and the Pantagraph mocks them. Outstanding. "

Whiners wrote on Sep 21, 2007 9:11 AM:

" No one can't beat Tiger so now let's test for steroids and hope he fails. Then the rest of the PGA Tour can compete. It's ridiculous. "

truth wrote on Sep 21, 2007 9:05 AM:

" You will have doping at the highest levels of sport regardless of the discipline. If you don't test they WILL take. There is too much money at stake to think that some sports do and some don't. The fact cycling gets such a black eye is that they actually do test, and quite rigoriously. Golf is probably as dirty as any sport especially since they don't test. The article, I suppose, is intended to be funny but sadly it is quite naive. "

Seriously. . . wrote on Sep 21, 2007 8:58 AM:

" I think that it is more of an equipment issue than a steroid issue. I'm your typical scratch golfer. I good round for me is between 90-95. I improved my game this summer by buying a new driver and working out a couple of kinks in my swing. Now instead of driving the ball 220-240 yds. I'm driving 250-280 yds. No steroids here. I don't even have a swing coach or take lessons. The PGA players have been playing longer than I have, have custom made clubs and swing coaches. I'm sure that is more of the reason that they are hitting the ball longer. Not because they are on steroids. "

Realist wrote on Sep 21, 2007 8:00 AM:

" Exactly...wake up Kindred....It is articles like this that was written years ago when skeptics did not believe steroids and drugs had entered there childhood sport...Its the 21st century and everyone is liable...Employers all over the U.S. have standard drug tests...it is time for overpayed athletes to also be treated as regular citizens of this country...I applaud the PGA commissioner because who wants a great sport like golf ever to get tainted.... "

Garfield wrote on Sep 21, 2007 7:32 AM:

" For an excellent description of the use of speed in ML baseball read Jim Bouton's book- Ball Four. It describes the use of speed (referred to as Greenies) and the difficulty in deciding whether to use it if rain were imminent. It seems to me that the objections to the use of certain banned substances involves the use of medical science to enhance performance. If we object to that then should we also object to modern LASIK surgery on the eyes. Tiger Woods actually brags that this surgery has enabled him to escape the problems associated with contact lenses and glasses and thus to improve his game. This is a type of medial procedure that wasn't available to golfers a generation ago that has increased performance. Who knows the long term effects? It probably won't cause the anger or plumbing problems that steroid use probably will but it might cause long term vision problems. "

Tiger? wrote on Sep 20, 2007 9:54 PM:

" Wake up, Kindred. Baseball players have been using speed for 50 years. Steroids are just the most recent "performance enhancing drugs". Just because a lot of golfers are out of shape, doesn't mean they're not using. I know fat guys at the Y who try to get an edge. It's ridiculous, but they're out there. And there are plenty of "ripped" golfers, and it wouldn't surprise me a bit to find out that Tiger's on something, and I'd give you odds that John Daly wouldn't pass. "

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