B2BMonday, October 1, 2007 9:28 PM CDT

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EMPLOYEE RELATIONS: What will you make of this school year?

By Susan O'Rourke

The school supplies have all been purchased. The new back packs still creak.

We still don’t remember all the new teachers’ names and haven’t gotten our children’s schedules memorized. The first day of school happened just a bit ago. You took pictures of the kids as they headed out for that so important first day of school. You gave them lunch money and made sure they got on the bus or headed out at the right time. Your work here is done, right?

Or is it? If you think back, how could your parents have helped you with your most difficult school year? How could they have helped make your best year even better? Could your student benefit from more involvement or different actions on your part?

One of the best ways to achieve a good outcome for the coming year is to help your child set goals for the year and then help them keep track of the mileposts and measuring tools along the way to those goals. What would they like to have accomplished at the end of this year? Is it all about grades or is it also about learning a skill, gaining friends, being active in school clubs or sports? Could the year be about spiritual growth through their church or a group activity? Might the goal be about staying out of trouble or starting new habits? Remember, good goals are measurable and written down!

Once the year’s goals are established (and I’m not suggesting this can be done in a few minutes or that it should be done lightly…), what can you, as a parent, do to help your child succeed this school year?

The experts will all be talking about making time to listen to your student in order to learn of problems or challenges they are encountering. Listening is always good advice for parents! Can you make sure you have breakfast or dinner together several times per week?

Can you learn the habit of asking questions your children can’t answer with a mumbled yes or no? Examples might be: What was the most interesting class today? Who is your favorite teacher and why? Who shares most of your schedule? What is the biggest project you see coming this semester? What will it be about and when will you do it? Whose class would you rather not attend? Is there anyone you particularly like (or don’t like) in your classes? Why? Which class do you look forward to most each day/week?

These kinds of questions will provide you with more information and could lead to a good discussion with your student. Once you get into that good conversation, you are in a great position to model positive behavior for your student and help them work through their own problems.

“Oh, Danny Zuko is in your classes again? Is he still troubled?” This leads to a rousing discussion of how to avoid Danny, help Danny or find a way to reach peaceful detente’ with Danny.

“You have a huge research project due just after Thanksgiving?” leads to a discussion of how to plan and budget time, how to make a schedule and how you can best assist with gathering materials or helping them keep track of the timelines.

Is your student uncomfortable socially at school? So often this is the case and we parents aren’t aware that our student is being bullied, shunned or just isn’t comfortable with social interactions. Often the key is to increase contact with the friends or potential friends your student prefers. Encourage them to have friends over to watch a movie or play a game. (One great activity we discovered years ago is “make your own pizza” night. All you need is a good dough recipe, some sauce and cheese and some drinks; ask each guest to bring some of their own favorite topping to share.) If you aren’t comfortable having people in your home (which is kind of silly, in most cases, even if you are in the middle of remodeling…) offer outings to the bowling alley, a park, golf course, movie, etc.

For younger students, offering to carpool can provide a wealth of information about what is happening in your child’s life and environment. All you have to do is pick up the other students and then listen as they talk. Ask questions on a limited basis and you’ll find out much you won’t hear at your own dinner table!

Have you considered calling or emailing a teacher to offer help? For younger students, offering to be a guest reader or to come help with a project can be a great experience for both you and your student. For older students, often classroom assistance can make a difference or offering to help chaperone an event or class trip. You’ll enjoy it, your student will feel supported and the teachers will appreciate your support and involvement! Sometimes the administration could use clerical help for a big project and they appreciate your involvement as well. It always helps to have a relationship with the teachers and/or administrators if you or your students ever need their assistance.

Most importantly, are you encouraging your student on a regular basis? How much more positive will your child’s year be if he or she hears you cheerleading in the background every week encouraging him to work through rough spots or difficult situations? How much will she learn from your positive encouragement and careful listening as she works through a quandary?

These years go by so quickly and we don’t get a chance to re-do them. I encourage you to make the most of this chance to work closely and positively with your student! And, then you can take these same skills and use them at the office!

PERSONAL NOTE

Thanks to all those readers who reacted so encouragingly to my most recent column about the loss of my father-in-law! I appreciate the positive feedback!

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