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Last hope in a weak economy? Mom and Dad
By Emily Fredrix
Associated Press
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MILWAUKEE -- After being laid off from her job as an events planner at an upscale resort, Jo Ann Bauer struggled financially. She worked at several lower-paying jobs, relocated to a new city and even declared bankruptcy.

Then in December, she finally accepted her parents' invitation to move into their home - at age 52. "I'm back living in the bedroom that I grew up in," she said.

Taking shelter with parents isn't uncommon for young people in their 20s, especially when the job market is poor. But now the slumping economy and the credit crunch are forcing some children to do so later in life - even in middle age.

Financial planners report receiving many calls from parents seeking advice about taking in their grown children following divorces and layoffs.

Kim Foss Erickson, a financial planner in Roseville, Calif., north of Sacramento, said she has never seen older children, even those in their 50s, depending so much on their parents as in the last six months.

"This is not like, 'OK, my son just graduated from college and needs to move back in' type of thing," she said. "These are 40- and 50-year-old children of my clients that they're helping out."

Parents "jeopardize their financial freedom by continuing to subsidize their children," said Karin Maloney Stifler, a financial planner in Hudson, Ohio, and a board member of the Financial Planning Association. "We have a hard time saying no as a culture to our children, and they keep asking for more."

Bauer's parents won't take rent money or let her help much with groceries. She's trying to save several hundred dollars a month for a house while working as a meetings coordinator.

Bauer would prefer to live on her own, but without her parents' help would "probably be renting again and trying to stick minimal money in the bank," she said.

Shirley Smith, 80, said she and her husband didn't hesitate when they invited Bauer to return to their home in Eden, Wis. Buying groceries for another person isn't stretching her budget too much, she said.

"I've got three kids and any of them can come home if they want," she said.

But plenty of well-meaning parents must delay retirement or scale back their dreams because they have to help their children, Stifler said.

Some of Erickson's clients are giving as much as $50,000 at a time to their kids, many of whom have overextended themselves with big houses or lavish lifestyles. And the sliding economy might threaten their jobs.

Parents feel guilty if they don't offer help, but she warns them to be careful with their savings.

"I almost have to act like a financial therapist if you will," she said. "'Here is the line I'm drawing for you. That's fine. You can do up to this point, but at this point, now you're starting to erode your own wealth.'"

Anna Maggiore, 27, lost her job as a publicist in Los Angeles about three years ago and moved into her parents' house in Los Alamos, N.M.

She tried to find jobs, but nothing stuck, so she enrolled full-time at the College of Santa Fe to finish her bachelor's degree in business.

She figures her parents spend about $1,000 a month on her, including a car payment, car and health insurance, school and other costs. Her father is a retired nuclear physicist and her mother, a guidance counselor, will retire this spring. Now Maggiore is looking for work so she can supplement their income.

"It's kind of hitting me finally that I need to get out there and find a job," she said. "Even if it's just part-time just to help out however I can."

A new survey by the retiree-advocacy group AARP found that one-fourth of Generation Xers, those 28 to 39 years old, receive financial help from family and friends.

The online survey of nearly 1,800 people ages 19 to 39 also found 57 percent believed they were "financially independent." But in a separate question, 33 percent said they received financial support from family and friends.

Bauer was caught by surprise when her job at a resort in Kohler, Wis., was cut four years ago, one year after she got divorced. The single mother bounced around to several lesser-paying jobs, declared bankruptcy and even moved 60 miles south to Milwaukee.

Her daughter, now 12, moved in with Bauer's ex-husband near her hometown.

Bauer decided to move to be closer to her and in December she found a job with the Experimental Aircraft Association in nearby Oshkosh. She tried to buy a house but needed 5 percent down. She only had 2 percent. She's now saving for a down payment and hopes to have it as early as June.

Bauer said she gets along well with her parents and knows she'll never get to spend so much time with them again. But it hurts her ego to live at home.

"I've had people say to me, 'Oh God, I could never do that,'" she said. "But you take humble steps in order to move forward."

Take a look
Jo Ann Bauer is seen with her parents Bill and Shirley Smith in their home Wednesday, March 19, 2008, in Eden, Wis. Laid off from her job as a special events manager at an upscale resort, Bauer struggled for four years on her own until December, when she accepted her parents' offer to move into their central Wisconsin home. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
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Reader comments on this story - 18 total

Note: All views and opinions expressed in reader comments are solely those of the individual submitting the comment, and not those of the Pantagraph or its staff.

easy wrote on Mar 22, 2008 7:18 PM:

" Political Heretic: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack. I'm a "boomer" and I have worked HARD my whole life (since 15 yrs. old). I have taught my children responsible financial habits. I resent your youthful crap attitude. Just 'cause we're here where we are doesn't make us the enemy of your "I'm better than anybody before me" generation. Get a clue. "

Lurg86 wrote on Mar 22, 2008 4:40 PM:

" Meh can relate to this lady real well as she is also one who can not afford to pay her own ISP. She makes her little liberal comments from the confines of someone elses' dime and is a living, walking, billboard for the democratic party. Let the government take care of me, why isn't everything free? People like Meh unfortunately don't get it until they are in their 30s and some even longer than that. Trouble is by then they have already wasted too much of their lives to be a true contributor to society. Such a shame and such a waste. "

Zeva wrote on Mar 22, 2008 10:35 AM:

" OGS, you had better wake up, it is here!!! I know some that have already moved home. Get your head out of the sand and look around, things are not good ANYWHERE!! I'll bet your one of those GWB lovers and voted for him so you see it as elsewhere, not here. Hmmm...that sounds like GWB rhetoric. "

dancinggirl wrote on Mar 22, 2008 9:44 AM:

" kids of this age and younger grew up in the age of plenty. they have less of a work ethic that their parents. And their parents never learned to teach them to stand on their own feet or to say "no". I still see parents today who shower their children with everything, clothes, facials, car, trips to foreign countries. these children are going to be spoiled brats who never learned the value of actually doing "trench" work, or any kind of work that builds character. "

BigBrother wrote on Mar 21, 2008 7:50 PM:

" I tell all my children they can always come home. I also tell them the rules have not changed from when they were 12. They will be required to do chores and be at dinner on time. They will have to clean their plates and eat all their peas. No friends past 8:00, and curfew is 9:00 during the week and 10:00 on weekends. The minister will be pleased to see their smiling faces on Sunday morning and the Sunday school starts at 8:00am. Wednesday is church fellowship night and Thursday evenings we have family time. Dinner, a game and conversation, no TV. Most important is our studies and work projects. An idle mind is the devils playground! Unfortunately with these rules growing up they all are successful. I guess I will have to learn to live without them in the house!!! "

B/N reader wrote on Mar 21, 2008 6:15 PM:

" To: floyd. A better solution is for u to find her a decent paying job that utilize all of her work skills by which she can support herself independently , not send her to the mission or advise her to sell her car. If her folks are willing to help thats great. And while McDonalds is a fine organization it's not the solution for everyone. "

B/N reader wrote on Mar 21, 2008 6:03 PM:

" I can relate to her in the article. I moved into my parents rental property due to a significant rent increase at my old apt. and I don't feel bad about it at all.I didn't have rent here at all .Now I am buying 1/2 of this property from my siblings.No rent was the only break I got here. I live on a fixed income and its very hard to stretch it with rent prices,the utility rates and phone/cable/internet charges too, not to mention the other costs of maintaining a home and a life today. Its the ever increasing costs, which are riduculously high, today that force people to make these kinds of decisions "

Meh wrote on Mar 21, 2008 5:58 PM:

" This is the Republican idea of hope, right here. "

Moon Mullins wrote on Mar 21, 2008 5:53 PM:

" I always heard that Republicans are good for the economy. What happened, Dubya? "

Not so Political wrote on Mar 21, 2008 5:46 PM:

" Can you say G W Bush. If you can you have said the cause of the problem. "

floyd wrote on Mar 21, 2008 5:31 PM:

" If she needs someplace to stay she can go to the mission. She'll really see people who have it rough there who are pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.
Maybe she should sell her car and work at McDonalds where they could use management people. "

Lell wrote on Mar 21, 2008 5:27 PM:

" For those who have not moved back home and are struggling to just pay the basic household expenses, does anyone know what happens to someone who is not able to pay Illinois state income taxes? This is my first year on IL. Teacher's Retirement Pension, and it is a shock to find out they didn't take out state income tax, only federal. My school was just a small rural area, lower salaries. Small pension. I just don't have it to pay this state tax. I don't know what to do.

As times get tougher economically, there might be many who cannot pay taxes. What happens legally? My parents are gone, so I cannot "move back home"; I'm in my 60's. "

lindini wrote on Mar 21, 2008 4:12 PM:

" It is actually a fairly American idea that all people should have their own home. Until very recently families took care of their own with no shame. Economic times have been so good for the last 50 years we come to think of all these perks as god given. This is the wake up call we have all been waiting for for a very long time and should come as no shock. Be glad you all have families to go to and are not stuck alone on the street like some. "

pennme wrote on Mar 21, 2008 3:24 PM:

" Dear OGS.
I am glad that you could give such constructive help. Now that eveyone is awake, I am sure everything will be fine. Thanks for the mind boggling help.
"

Kathy wrote on Mar 21, 2008 1:54 PM:

" 52 and back home with mom and dad? I don't think so. Seems to me a little personal responsibility goes a long way and it's called living within your means. No pity party from this house. I'm also a boomer and it serves me well to know if I can't afford it I probably don't need it. "

Political Heretic wrote on Mar 21, 2008 1:53 PM:

" Ah, Baby Boomers. Me. Me. Me. I deserve everything I want...NOW!!! Savings? What savings? 401K. Naaaaaaah, I'm too busy living an extended childhood. Paaaaaaarty!!! Mommy and Daddy remember the depression, so they could never make ME go without...ANYTHING!!! If I don't have money, I'll get more (and more...) from them. Then I'll complain because my inheritance isn't enough for me to coast through retirement on a gold plated yacht. I will teach these horrible spending habits to my children, who are in for a nasty surprise when they realize Social Security isn't going to be there for them. Oh well, I'll just by them another video game system and they won't notice until I'm dead. Meanwhile, I need plastic surgery, botox, liposuction, and lasik eye surgery so I can deceive myself into thinking I'm still cool. Ow! What's that pain? Could it be a result of the meat grinder I've put my body through with extensive drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sex? Better call my Senator and tell him to double Medicare right away, or else we'll vote him RIGHT OUT! And make sure it covers my Viagra and HRT! Ah, that's better. The world's been made perfect just for me. "

OGS wrote on Mar 21, 2008 1:22 PM:

" It COULD happen to you! "

OGS wrote on Mar 21, 2008 1:21 PM:

" This could happen here. Wake Up People! "
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