Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for many years, work long schedules, and actually sleep when we go to bed at night. Saturday afternoon, we had "nothin' to do," so I suggested some hanky-panky. We were just getting into it when the phone rang.

I told her to let it go to voicemail, but when our married daughter's name was caller-ID-announced, she said she had to take the call because they had been playing phone tag all day. There was no important matter, just idle chit-chat. What a mood killer!

Am I wrong to be angry that my needs were ignored so my wife could say, "Hello, how are you?" to our daughter (who calls eight times a day anyway)? — THWARTED IN MICHIGAN

Dear Thwarted: Wrong? I don't think so. I think it's time to calmly ask your wife WHY she prioritized taking that call over the opportunity to be intimate with you.

P.S. The next time you're in "H-P" mode, put both of your phones on "do not disturb."

Dear Abby: I was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. After months of chemo, I had surgery and my lung was removed. Fifteen months after my diagnosis, my husband is still smoking cigarettes.

I feel so hurt and alone going through this. I thought he would have stopped smoking for his own health as well as moral support to me. He says I don't have the right to change him and quitting is too hard, even though he refuses to get help to stop.

Am I being overly sensitive to think he should stop smoking? I don't think he is being fair to our children because of the potential of them having to watch another parent receive the same diagnosis. — NEEDS MORAL SUPPORT

Dear Needs: You are not "overly sensitive." People have been known to get cancer from secondhand smoke. Face it, you are married to an addict. Not only is he being unfair to the children, he is being unfair to you and himself. Because he's unwilling to even try to quit, my advice is to insist that he do it outside and away from you.

 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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