FLICK FLAK, random thoughts on athletic conference names, old clothes, friends who lose weight, and other such life obsessions:
• So our last two governors were highly unpopular and now are in prison, and our current governor is highly unpopular because among other reasons, he wants to close so many of the facilities his predecessors are in …
• Ever lie awake at night, wondering if sheep call it Ewe Tube?
• You do?
• If there's a negative to those hugely popular, fan-driven, blow-up holiday yard decorations that are everywhere now, is it during the day when they're deflated and sprawled pancake-flat on the lawn, looking like a bank lobby just after a big robbery?
• Whatever happened to Richard Moll, who played “Bull Shannon” on “Night Court?”
• Yet another sign you’re getting older: When anyone calling after 9 p.m. first apologizes for “calling so late.” Remember when that used to be about the time of night when you STARTED thinking about going out?
• Whatever happened to Monica Lewinsky, too?
• Have you noticed? After a near year of endless campaign signs in yards — and finally, mercifully, an end on Nov. 7 — already yards are filling with signs for the various Bloomington mayoral and alderman candidates? Is it not especially quirky that intermingled between Santa, Christmas lights and all the reindeer, are “Vote for (Fill-in-the-blank)” signs, too? Can Santa even vote here?
• Flak from the flock:
— Would you say those kids who cry and don’t want to sit on Santa’s lap are suffering from `Claustrophobia?’” (Bob Dennison, Normal)
— “When friends drop 20 or 30 pounds, does it make you happy for them or jealous?” (Dave Hawkinson, Girard)
— “Why is it when a woman gets her nails done, it's called a `manicure’?” (Dave Hughes, Bloomington)
• Isn't one of quiet little joys and gotchas of life when a line of traffic scrunches together at a road construction site so that the greaseball driver who sped ahead of everyone else in the other lane can't cut in front?
• And whatever happened to actress Minnie Driver?
• So the “Big 12 Conference” will now have 10 teams, and the Big 10 will have 14 teams, and the “Big East” Conference will add west coast teams, Boise State and San Diego State … and college will continue to profess teaching math and geography?
• Besides objects in your rear-view mirror being closer than they appear, ever noticed Christmas is always that way, too?
• Another difference between men and women (this time, offered by a B-N veterinary assistant): “Women do not like to have their pets weighed; men do not like to talk about neutering their pets, much less have it done.”
• Whatever happened to Pat O'Brien, who used to be on CBS Sports?
• So we’ve put men on the moon and created computers the size of a pinhead … and the makers of body lotion still can’t invent a tube that gets all the lotion out of the container? Ever noticed you still have a week’s worth of lotion in the container after the tube nozzle starts sputtering like you’re totally out?
• Ever noticed dogs seem to thoroughly enjoy December, much more than humans?
•Finally, is it humorous that in winter we want the house to be the temperature that back in summer we considered too hot to handle without the air conditioner?
Bill Flick is at firstname.lastname@example.org