Flick: But would only turkeys read it this way?

2012-08-22T07:00:00Z Flick: But would only turkeys read it this way? pantagraph.com
August 22, 2012 7:00 am

FLICK LITE: Our latest listings, as offered by the readers and your own resident Lite Boy:

• Latest eye-catching marquee

As it read recently at the Shake Shack, a restaurant in Lexington:

"Turkey Club"

and then below that ...

"Taking Applications"

No word where we go to join.

• Most ignored street sign

As it reads along University in Normal, in the heart of the Illinois State University campus and its nearly 21,000 students:

“Cross only at cross walks”

Oh really?

• Newest highway campaign

Series of signs along I-74, near Mahomet:

First sign: "Let's eat Grandma!"

Second sign: "Let's eat, Grandma!"

Third sign: “Grammar saves lives.”

• Worst burnout

When part of the sign at a licensing service in Berwyn recently went out, Don Mullins, a reader in Malta, didn’t know if he was renewing a license or checking for parasites. (See sign above)

• Most appropriate duo

Along Oakland Ave. in Bloomington these days is a new Walgreens, built in a lot next to the old Walgreens, so that one Walgreens sits beside another Walgreens.

As one observer recently put it: “Is that what you’d call Wal-to-Walgreens?” (See photo of buildings above.)

• Most coincidental outage

When a storm ripped through Bloomington Aug. 9, it blacked out U.S. Cellular Coliseum downtown, forcing cancellation of that night’s scheduled event.

It was a Night Storm Party.

• Best Name Club

Dr. Bill-Yu. He's in Springfield.

Terra Brockman. She’s director of Land Connection, a Bloomington-based company.

Marc Webb. He’s director of “The Amazing Spider-Man.”

Leonard Peace. He’s an FBI agent heading the investigation of the Milwaukee temple shootings.

Dr. Youngerman. His practice In Decatur offers facial “rejuvenation” to make men look younger.

David and Marilyn Musick, celebrating their 40th year of marriage this month, both are retired teachers, in Unit 5 and El Paso-Gridley … in music.

• Most ironic financial assist

At the "Xtreme Live Bugs" exhibit at Brookfield Zoo, near Chicago, a sponsor is Terminix.

They exterminate bugs instead.

• Latest greatest marital match

When Desire Ntumba-Ilunga and Charnika Lyesha Love, both of Bloomington, recently announced their plans to marry, it means she will become Desire Love.

• Five More Fun Places To Visit, If Only For Their Names

(As offered by the readers)

Chief Dull Knife College. It's in Lame Deer, Mont.

Girdletree, Maryland.

Hellhole, Idaho.

Roman Nose State Park. It’s in Oklahoma, near Oklahoma City.

Ought One, W. Va.

• Most political restaurant quip

At the Garden of Paradise restaurant in Bloomington is the much advertised "Ultimate G.O.P. Breakfast Special," only $4.75.

That, of course, recently led one customer to ask, “if served to Democrats, do you increase the taxes on their meals?”

• Got an item for Lite? Send to: Flick Lite, 301 W. Washington St., Bloomington, 61702, or by e-mail.

Our August contributors:

Steve Rutledge, McLean; Jan Proeber, Lexington; Don Mullins, Malta; Brenda Butcher, Mechanicsburg; Pat Karst Smothers, East Peoria; Jim Eaton, Cathy Ferme and Roger Miller, Normal; Barb Maxwell, Gayle Hess, Tom Harrell, Bill Dunbar, Jerry Turley, Paul Dunn, Patti Geske, Joyce Bickhaus, Joel Fellers and Marilyn Myers, Bloomington.

Bill Flick at flick@pantagraph.com.

Copyright 2015 pantagraph.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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