FLICK FLAK, random thoughts on people who don’t have any tattoos, Bed Bath & Beyond coupons, McDonald’s burgers and other such life obsessions:
• Ever noticed on warm days your basement is chillier than the rest of the house and on cold days your basement is warmer than the rest of the house? Just how does that work?
• Don’t you miss leaf burning — at least a little?
• With Donald Trump such a big-time Republican now, how about Mitt Romney being one of the next competitors on “Celebrity Apprentice?”
• Something I learned while looking for something else: At McDonald’s, those grill marks on the burgers aren’t really real. They are imprinted into them back at the factory.
• Every time change, don’t you wish the automakers could get together and create just one car clock so that they’re all changed alike instead of forcing you to get out every car’s owner’s manuals?
• Central Illinois look-alikes: Scott Van Pelt, the ESPN commentator, and Todd Mitchell, the ace B-N golfer. (Suggested by Rick Percy, Bloomington)
• Ever notice dogs love to put their noses in things that smell bad? What’s up with that? Just how weird are they?
• Why are they buffalo wings when they taste like chicken?
• Is it just irony his name rhymes with “betray-us”?
• Four more restaurant names to weed out the B-N long-timers from the newbies:
— Golden West.
— Henry Wellington’s.
— Eric's Great Steaks.
• Ever noticed the problem with the five-day forecast is that it’s accurate enough not to ignore but not accurate enough to rely on?
• Flock flak:
“Why is it the best part of election season is when it is over?” (Cliff Pilon, Normal)
“If you call six friends and all the calls go to voicemail, is that a bad sign?” (Dave Hawkinson, Girard)
“So just how do they make rice into instant rice, and why do it any different?” (Troy Tegard, El Paso)
• Cheap plug: The new 2013 Central Illinois calendars, to be stuffed in this paper Friday, are very nice, with great local photographs and a heavy enough stock of glossy paper to make it through a whole year.
• More updates to that “True freaks of the 21st Century” list:
— Political candidates who don’t get nasty in commercials.
— Good listeners.
— Someone who actually DOESN’T have a tattoo by now.
• Don't you feel awful when shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond and suddenly realize you've forgotten that 20 percent — or $5-off coupons — they endlessly send you? Just how much business must those ads generate?
• Ever noticed babies don’t have knee caps? Is it any wonder they never just walk out of the womb?
• Whatever happened to:
— Ross Perot?
— Adam Rich (the little kid on TV's “Eight Is Enough”)?
— Harry Anderson Jr. (He was Judge Harry Stone on TV’s “Night Court,” still in reruns)?
• Is it time yet to ask: Just how long before Santa gets his own Facebook account and Rudolph begins Tweeting, especially when in Deer Creek?
Bill Flick is at email@example.com