BLOOMINGTON - Certainly not his born identity: Bob Costas has eaten at Biaggi's. So has actress Jane Seymour, and U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert, and actor John Malkovich, and "CSI" star Gary Sinise, and ex-presidential candidate John Edwards, and Fox NFL analyst Howie Long, even the Red Hot Chili Peppers. | Want more Flick?

If there is a spot to ogle celestials in a Midwestern burg like Bloomington-Normal, it apparently is Biaggi's.

And that's if you can recognize them.

Said to also have been there the other night - actor Matt Damon - a logical notion because the "Bourne Identity" star has been hanging these days in Decatur shooting a movie while, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, commuting up I-39/I-55 to take up temporary residence in Chicago.

How can you not recognize Matt Damon if he is at the very next table?

It may not be as far-fetched as it seems.

Even Matt Damon doesn't look much like Matt Damon anymore.

That's a photo of him this week in Decatur, as it appeared in the Decatur Herald & Review.

Would you recognize that fresh-faced guy as a rugged movie star if you saw him over a medium-rare filet and heap of garlic potatoes in Bloomington, Ill.?

And who will be secretary of the states?: If Hillary wins the presidency, the next task may be for her staff to be able to fully discern Illinois from Indiana.

A Clinton staffer called WJBC radio the other morn to see how the primary was going in the Bloomington area.

Primary? Here? It was way back in early February.

That's when a WJBC staffer advised the Clinton camper that they had called the wrong Bloomington.

"There's your presidential machine at work," chuckled WJBC's R.C. McBride later.

w One more positive to those smoking bans: Asks Julie Dennis of Bloomington:

"Has anyone noticed how much quicker you are seated at a restaurant when they don't have to ask, 'Smoking or non-smoking?'"

Crash course: Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet when that spider sat down beside her.

A Gridley teen, on the other hand, was sitting in her 1997 Toyota along U.S. 24 the other night when she reached for her cell phone on the passenger seat and - eeeekeeee! - suddenly found a spider crawling on it.

The teen lost control of her vehicle, according to police reports. She is OK. Her car wasn't able to tuffet, though. It was totaled.

Police beat: Meanwhile, in Normal, police were called out to handle a party call and an officer drove to the alleged party site, where he got out of his squad car to investigate the report.

That is when he discovered he'd probably found the correct location.

While his car was unattended, an apparent party-goer quickly pulled up and crashed into the officer's car.

Guess who got the first DUI there?

Today's deep thought

Mulled by Macon Williams, of Normal:

"Last week Hillary Clinton made the Kentucky Derby a metaphor for the presidential race when she noted that there was only one female (Eight Belles) in the race and urged everyone to place a bet on the female. This week, Big Brown won again."

And speaking of odd ordinances: Regulars of this space might recall a few weeks ago of Shawn and Vicki Kobel, owners of a new Bloomington adventure where business is picking up, literally.

Called The Double Deuce Poop Scoop, their company will send someone into your yard and clean up the extracts of your dog's gastrointestinal tract.

Someone from the city apparently read the blurb, too.

The Kobels have been apprised of a little-known ordinance in Bloomington:

"ACCUMULATION OF ANIMAL FECES, Chapter 21, Section 500.9: A person commits the offense of accumulation of animal feces if he/she permits such to remain on his property for more than one (1) day. The feces shall be disposed of in a sanitary manner, by placing in a closed or sealed container and depositing it in a trash receptacle."

Funny part is, a copy of the ordinance was sent to them along with a suggestion that the Kobels run it in their ads as a way to increase their business, since having 24-hour-old canine droppings in your yard is against the law.

Surely you don't leave your dog's remnants in the yard more than 24 hours, do you?

Contact Bill Flick at flick@pantagraph.com. The Flick Blog: www.pantagraph.com/blogs