BLOOMINGTON - Todd Glen Engstrom had a busy Christmas before he left for Iraq three years ago. He had returned from Kosovo, where he commanded an elite special forces team for the United Nations. He brought his wife-to-be, Diana, a Kosovo citizen, with him.

They were married Dec. 29 that year, the same day as the 11th birthday of his son, Dalton.

"It was a big celebration," said his aunt, Kim Engstrom, 47, a member of the Military Affinity Group at State Farm Insurance Cos.

A few days before the wedding, he had joined his large family to celebrate Christmas.

"The extended family gets together on Christmas Eve and Christmas. We go to church together on Christmas Eve. That was something Todd really enjoyed," Engstrom said.

Her nephew, from the Menard County town of Athens, didn't talk much about his upcoming deployment to Iraq with a private security firm. "He was pretty quiet about a lot of things. He focused more on family time. He was really into family," she said.

Todd came home on leave just once after that, the following April. He was due home again a month later. But he was killed when a rocket-propelled grenade hit his convoy.

He was 35.

His aunt will lay a wreath at the Vietnam/Korean Memorial at 10:30 a.m. Saturday at Miller Park during the second annual Wreaths Across America.

The event coincides with observances at military cemeteries and memorials nationwide to remember fallen soldiers and those who will spend the holiday overseas in harm's way, organizers said.

A national moment of silence is scheduled for 11 a.m. that day.

Todd Engstrom's father, Ron, will attend the local observance. His widow, who lives in the Twin Cities, also may be there. U.S. senators Dick Durbin and Barack Obama, both Democrats, have introduced a special bill to allow Diana Engstrom to remain in the United States, although her husband was killed short of the required time for her to be considered automatically for U.S. citizenship. The bill is pending.

Terry Edmunds, MAG executive board member and director of communications, was a U.S. Army sergeant in Vietnam from 1969 to 1970.

"Christmas in a war zone isn't the happiest time of the year," he said. "I remember what it felt like. I remember what we were doing … I just want to make sure that the kids today know we care. They aren't here that day to see us do it. But they'll hear about it through their families or whatever that people in the heartland remembered them and cared about them."

"To me, it's to remember all our veterans, whether military or not military," Kim Engstrom said. "Those who served for us and gave their lives, those who are still there; it's mainly to remember our fallen heroes and their families during the holiday season."

The Engstroms have another way of remembering their loss at Christmas. The family still goes to church together Christmas Eve and spends Christmas Day together.

"But there's a big hole at the table," Kim Engstrom said. "But we have a candle our family lights no matter what the occasion. It's the spirit of Todd with us. He is always there. That's how we look at it."

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GO!

What: Wreaths Across America

Where: Vietnam/Korean Memorial, Miller Park, Bloomington

When: 10:30 a.m. Saturday

Why: To remember people in the military who are serving away from home or who have died, and their families.

Program: Posting of colors, music, prayers, speeches and the laying of wreaths for each branch of the military and the fallen.

On the Net: www.wreaths-across-america.org