BLOOMINGTON - A cheering crowd packed 450 chairs to hear Dr. Ruth (Westheimer) answer explicit questions on a wide range of sexual issues at Hansen Student Center, Illinois Wesleyan University.

Dr. Ruth, who is internationally known for her frankness in promoting what she calls "sexual literacy," has appeared on 450 television programs. Hers was the keynote address during IWU's Student Senate's Discovering a New You Week.

There is a lot more to a relationship than sex, such as emotion, friendship, and helping with chores.

So if a guy takes Viagra and he "now has an erection from floor to ceiling" it might be for nothing - if he hasn't done dishes or taken out the garbage or watches TV sports and ignores his wife.

Watching sexually explicit films - as long as its does not involve children or violence - is OK if a person is comfortable viewing it.

But the right time and place is vital. One of her clients was a lawyer "with a fancy law firm" who got fired after being caught watching an adult film in his office.

One common concern is men wanting sex more than women. She tells women, "I'll tell you a secret. What's the big deal? It takes him two minutes to have an orgasm."

If the woman wants it more often than the man, she suggested sex toys or another appropriate substitute.

It is one thing to learn about sex and discuss issues publicly, but she said she was old-fashioned and private things should be private.

And ideally, there should be love along with contraceptives, safer sex protection and a willingness for partners to honestly communicate so neither partner is trying to guess what the other likes.

Modesty is important too.

"I am worrying about our teenagers walking around naked. They walk around half-naked at the mall." she said.

In response to audience questions, she said:

- If your partner wants to talk dirty during sex and you don't like it, then "Don't listen to it - go into your own fantasies."

- Reading sexual fantasies to enhance pleasure can work but if "page 37 you don't like - turn the page"

Courtney Lee was so thrilled Dr. Ruth was visiting she went 1 ½ hours early to get the best seat and saved some for friends. "I want to be Dr. Ruth when I grow up," said Lee, a senior at IWU. "My career goal is to be a sex therapist," she said, because such issues affect so many people.

"I've never been happier to go to Wesleyan," said Lee.

Judging from the reaction of the audience, she was not alone in feeling like that.

Westheimer's visit was sponsored by the Student Senate and Student Welfare and Human Relations Committee. After an hour and 15 minutes, she stopped to visit and sign copies of her book with Pierre A. Lehu, which is "Sex For Dummies, 3rd edition." "Sex for Dummies" has been printed in 27 languages.

Dr Ruth, who is now a widow, recounted when television anchor Diane Sawyer came to their home and she asked Manfred Westheimer how his sex life was.

His reply? "The cobbler's children wear no shoes."

Her sex therapy office for business - not monkey business.

"People, nothing is done in my office. My office is discussion only."

And she told the audience to quit worrying about a G spot - that supposed area of vaginal sensuality. There is no clinical sexual research to verify it exists.

And people need to separate fact from fiction, such as some people taking the TV series Sex & The City literally. "That is Hollywood." She said there aren't men waiting around ready to whisk women off to Paris.

Question from the audience included whether it was possible for a man to have multiple orgasms with a plea of "Please say yes." Dr. Ruth did, but noted older men have a longer recovery time than younger men.

Imagination is a good thing. "Use any fantasies you want-but you keep your mouth shut," she said, if it involves something you should not share with your partner.

---

Dr. Ruth Westhiemer

- Psychosexual therapist

- Author of 31 books

- Escaped Holocaust at 10

- Jewish freedom fighter at 17

- Immigrated to U.S in 1957