OLYMPIA, Wash. - "Do you think that God's going to send me to hell for killing innocent people?" former Sgt. Joshua Barber asked his wife one day last summer. Kelly Barber tried to reassure her distraught husband. | Will military top civilian suicide rate?

Nearly three years after a combat tour in Iraq, he was a shell of the loving and fun-loving man she'd married nine years earlier.

Joshua Barber was quiet, withdrawn, constantly fighting demons he couldn't exorcise. His question reinforced her fear that he was sliding further into a well of guilt and despair as she tried desperately to hold on.

The couple had sought help from the Army and U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, but Kelly Barber said they got caught up in red tape.

"He just had to fight so many battles, and no one would help him," she said.

The 31-year-old soldier killed himself three weeks after asking that terrible question.

On Aug. 25, a day after his wife reported him missing from their home in Lacey, Wash., Joshua Barber drove onto Fort Lewis in his silver 2005 Ford F-150 pickup, a gift from his wife when he returned from Iraq.

He parked in the lot at Madigan Army Medical Center and shot himself in the head with a revolver, one of several guns he'd taken from home.

Barber's death is hardly an isolated case. In a nearly three-year period, more than half of the veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan who committed suicide did so at least a year after their deployments ended, Army data show. A large number of soldiers who hadn't deployed also took their own lives. The number of suicides involving veterans ages 18 to 29 receiving care from the VA nearly doubled from 36 in 2005 to 68 in 2006, the most recent figures available, according to the VA.

Redoubling efforts to prevent suicides

The Army and the VA have redoubled their efforts to prevent suicides. Both have expanded services and launched initiatives aimed at suicide prevention.

The Army is hiring dozens of counselors and has developed an interactive video so soldiers can identify warning signs and help a distraught colleague through various scenarios. The Army and the National Institute of Mental Health recently announced a five-year, $50 million research program into the factors behind soldier suicides.

The VA, meanwhile, is taking steps to improve its screening among veterans diagnosed with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, and increase training so chaplains can look for warning signs. In July 2007, it launched a national suicide hot line, which receives thousands of calls each month, said Fred Blow, director of the VA's Serious Mental Illness Treatment Research and Evaluation Center.

"The Army is doing everything possible, but you still have those who choose to take their own lives," said Maj. Nathan Banks, an Army spokesman.

For Joshua Barber, the serious problems began a year after his return from Iraq. He had deployed with the 1st Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division from September 2004 to October 2005. The Stryker brigade has since transferred to Germany.

Barber was a cook but found himself a gunner on missions in Iraq. His VA physician wrote in an assessment after his death that "it is reasonable and valid to attribute his suicide to post-traumatic stress disorder, particularly in light of the fact that he joined during peace time, not knowing he would be called on to serve in war.

"At the point of enlistment, he probably never suspected that he would be called on to serve in a combat role," she wrote in the assessment, a copy of which was provided to The Olympian by Kelly Barber.

Barber joined the service before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. On Dec. 21, 2004, a suicide bomber detonated explosives inside a mess tent near the Mosul airport, killing 22 people. Among the dead were 14 U.S. service members, including six Fort Lewis soldiers.

For days, Barber and other soldiers had to keep the area secure and escort federal agents around the crime scene. After his return home, he had nightmares about the mutilated bodies lying everywhere, his wife said.

"He would say that all he could remember was the smell of death," she said. "That bothered him quite a bit."

When a sniper's bullet killed his first sergeant, Barber blamed himself. He was convinced the noncommissioned officer would still be alive if Barber had gone on that mission, his wife wrote in materials submitted to the government.

Barber noted in his post-deployment health screening that he felt at least one time during his deployment that he was in "great danger" of being killed. He also acknowledged that he had an experience so frightening and upsetting near the end of his tour that he felt numb or detached.

However, the screening official concluded that Barber had "no medical issues" and didn't refer him for treatment, including for combat and operational stress, according to the screening, a copy of which was provided by Kelly Barber.

Her husband eventually sought private care.

Adding to the stress

Barber's status with the military added to his stress. He transferred to an Army Reserve unit based in Tacoma, Wash., to serve out his military contract.

He was required to undergo a retention physical. It wasn't until August 2007, nearly a year after he underwent the physical, that he was found medically unfit to continue serving. The military deemed the reasons to be nonduty-related.

He was given an honorable discharge in January. He was hired as a cook at Madigan, where his wife also worked. (Kelly Barber no longer works there. The 40-year-old just moved to Florida, where her family lives.)

By spring, and after some initial delays, Joshua Barber had received a disability claim from the VA for post-traumatic stress disorder and had begun receiving treatment at one of its hospitals.

He had requested a transfer back to the active-duty ranks so he could join a Warrior Transition unit, where injured soldiers are assigned until they either can return to their regular unit or are medically retired.

He thought receiving counseling in an environment where other soldiers shared his experience with combat would aid in his treatment, his wife said.

Kelly Barber said the couple worked with Madigan officials to help approve his transfer, but there were numerous delays and no decision had been made at the time of his suicide.

Sharon Ayala, spokeswoman for Madigan, declined to comment because an investigation is pending.

Early in the morning of Aug. 24, Kelly Barber awoke to find her husband watching television in the living room, drunk. His drinking had become a problem.

She became angry and stormed back to the bedroom. Later in the day, he called her at work to apologize. In one of their last conversations, he "said he loved me and he was sorry," she recalled, breaking down during an interview.

"Sometimes I think it's my fault," she said a little while later.

He wasn't home when she returned from work. She later discovered that he'd taken all the guns and ammunition from the home.

On the kitchen counter, she found his cell phone and a green Post-it note.

"I love you. Please do not blaim (sic) yourself. Sorry," it read.

She called police.

Surveillance video shows that Barber arrived at Madigan about 7 a.m. the next day and didn't get out of the pickup, according to the police report. A Madigan employee found his body two days later and called 911. Kelly Barber, who was working at the time of the discovery, was notified later that morning.

According to the medical examiner's report, Barber had put a revolver loaded with hollow-point rounds to the right side of his head and pulled the trigger.

He was dressed in his old combat uniform.

"He was making a statement to the military," Kelly Barber said.

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Suicide rates

The suicide rate for active-duty soldiers, including members of the National Guard and the Reserves, reached an all-time high last year and might be surpassed this year, according to the Army.

If this occurs, the suicide rate for active-duty soldiers would top the suicide rate for U.S. civilians for the first time.

Fred Blow, director of the VA's Serious Mental Illness Treatment Research and Evaluation Center, said the post active-duty suicide rate for veterans of all wars has remained flat in recent years, but it's traditionally far higher than the suicide rate for U.S. civilians.

"We're really concerned about this," he said.

Blow said possible explanations are that veterans have more exposure to firearms - a common method of suicide - and a higher likelihood of developing physical and mental problems - a risk factor in suicide.