HACKENSACK, N.J. -- Therapists, school psychologists and guidance counselors say they've seen a growing number of children struggling with stress due to their families' financial problems.

A sense of crisis can bring deep anxiety or depression, especially if parents vent their aggravation, fight about money or switch school districts to find cheaper homes, experts say. While parental unemployment and bill collectors are familiar to children in poverty-stricken neighborhoods, they come as a harsh surprise to young people used to comfortable lifestyles. Add them to modern fears of terrorism and global warming, as well as the normal angst of adolescence, and you get an unnerving mix.

"We're living in very difficult times," said Rosalind Dorlen, a Summit, N.J., psychologist and the American Psychological Association's public education coordinator for New Jersey. "It would be naive to assume kids going through this would be unaffected. Is this going to be the 'Worried Generation?"'

By the numbers

Seventy-four percent of parents say the recession has increased stress in their families, and 33 percent say their children have expressed concern or nervousness about the economy, according to a recent nationwide survey by Wakefield Research, a pollster.

Grown-ups' fears trickle down: Children whose parents feel fiscal anxiety are four times more likely than other children to feel upset about family finances.

Just ask Keith Bogen, who runs a "Whine and Dine" networking group in Paramus, N.J., for human resource professionals. He's been looking for work for 14 months while building his networking business. His boys, age 7 and 10, feel the strain sometimes.

"When the ice cream truck comes around, and all the other kids are getting ice cream, dad says no because we can't afford it," Bogen says. On a deeper level, "they see mom and dad tussle more, there's fighting going on because of tension over money."

He reassures them by saying "we're just trying to make a better life for all of us," and emphasizes the environmental upsides of recycling more and shopping less. Justin, in fifth grade, is glad his father is around more for baseball games, but said, "Sometimes I feel dad is harsh on me and not letting me buy stuff." He calls his own mood "not angry, but not very happy either."

Dominic, who asked that his last name be withheld to avoid making a bad impression on potential employers, lost his marketing job in early July - his third layoff in four years. He had to move his family suddenly last fall when their rental home went into foreclosure, and his two sons' grades took a nosedive in all the turmoil. Dominic worries the boys will be distracted this fall because they need to move again to save on rent.

"I'm afraid all this has affected their view of me," he added. "Are they wondering, 'Is my dad a screw-up?"'

His 16-year-old, A.J., has declared that if they have to start over in another district, "you're going to see my grades go to F's because I won't care about school anymore." He says it's stressful to have his dad around the house all day, "because he's one of those people who yell when they're angry."

It's hard to confide in friends. "Money is not an issue teens talk about, so you feel like no one else is going through the situation like you," A. J. said. "It's kind of lonely."

Support groups needed?

Barbara Bole Williams, a Rowan University professor and a leader of the National Association of School Psychologists, suggested schools may want to start support groups for students whose families are in financial crisis, modeled after groups for children who have experienced divorce or bereavement. Teachers could also explain strategies for coping calmly, such as relaxation exercises and deep breathing.

Adults may try to shelter their children from budget problems, but kids are perceptive and often pick up on parents' agitation. "Having the financial stress of the economy is the straw that breaks the camel's back for some kids," Williams said. "It's one more thing on top of 'do I have any friends,' 'are kids being mean,' 'am I going to pass this class?"'

One 12-year-old in Fair Lawn, N.J., whose single mother lost a lucrative consulting job, is so worried about her mom's tension that she massages her tight neck and shoulders every night. "It's her birthday," she added, "so I'm going to give her the money I earned" in an athletic competition.

Janet Burdsall, head of the New Jersey Association of School Psychologists, noted that one out of every five children will have a mental health issue in their lifetime, and economic distress could trigger an underlying anxiety problem. She said parents need to talk calmly and take into account children's ages when disclosing financial information. Young children need to feel safe, while adolescents can handle more detail. "Parents need to reassure the children," she said. "Children will take the lead from their parents."

"It's certainly more difficult to come to school and learn if you're worried about your parents not having jobs and being home all the time," she said.

For some families, tighter budgets can teach healthy lessons in the value of saving and the difference between "wants" and "needs." Keith Gross of Oakland, N.J., who lost his job as a sales director in January, says his 18-year-old daughter has stopped spending on clothes and was reluctant to buy a new computer she needs for college.

The economic crunch "helps bring a little maturity and financial acumen," Gross said. He tries to keep his sense of humor, and takes heart that he has saved almost two years of tuition. "If I sat around all day freaking out, that would rub off on the kids," he said. "Sometimes I wake up at 3 a.m., but they don't see that."

It's impossible to predict the severe recession's impact on kids long-term. The generation that grew up during the Great Depression was known for its frugality and caution. Some say kids today may become pessimistic and cynical, while others predict they'll be less materialistic and more community-minded.

"Kids tend to be very resilient," said Craig Fabrikant, a Westwood, N.J., psychologist. "Teenagers will rise to the occasion probably more than a lot of other people. They're into causes, they're into change."