Who hasn't watched Colin Montgomerie trudge from tee to green and thought, "Man, he must be on something." Who can look Phil Mickelson in the face/chins and not think, "He's juiced."

Maybe you can. Maybe you haven't tossed and turned into the wee hours, wondering aloud, "When are they going to clean up golf!"

The rest of us can sleep now. Golf's powers-that-be announced Thursday an anti-doping policy has been adopted and could be in place as early as 2008.

Take that, John Daly.

Golf will test for anabolic steroids, hormones, stimulants, narcotics, beta blockers and masking agents. It will not test for M&Ms and Diet Coke. Guess Daly is safe after all.

Nor will it test for Marlboro, leaving U.S. Open champion Angel Cabrera in the clear. Cabrera nailed down his first major championship this summer between puffs on the fairway.

Perhaps that is when pressure intensified to bring golf in line with professional baseball, football, basketball, tennis, etc., and every Olympic sport you can think of, from track and field to curling.

Maybe anti-doping activists saw Cabrera go through two packs on the back nine and deemed it a smokescreen (sorry) for what he was really doing.

Forget that Cabrera has a sportswriter's paunch and hasn't missed a meal since 1982. It's time these guys were subject to the same scrutiny as Barry Bonds!

It didn't help that Cabrera's high-profile win came only months after Zach Johnson prevailed at the Masters. Johnson is the accountant next door with a green jacket hanging in his closet. His boyish looks and everyman's body surely must have raised suspicion.

Actually, it appears Gary Player helped nudge the sport toward testing. The golfing legend said at this year's British Open a current player had confessed to him he'd used steroids, but wouldn't provide his name.

My money's on Craig Stadler.

Regardless, testing has arrived, and where it will lead remains to be seen. Procedures and penalties must be ironed out, but we are left with some interesting images.

Picture this: players finish their round, head to the scoring tent/trailer, sign their cards and submit a urine sample. If golf protocol is strictly enforced, that could get messy.

It's one thing to keep a guy's scorecard. It's another to hold a cup and pray that he has good aim.

Truth is, golf was shamed into this by other sports. On Thursday alone, 2006 Tour de France winner Floyd Landis was given a two-year ban from cycling for a positive doping test, and a former clinic operator was sentenced to 18 months in prison for providing steroids to inline skating champion Corey Gahan, who was suspended from competition in 2005.

If you can test/suspend a guy riding a bicycle and a teenager on roller blades, why not a 40-year-old swinging a pitching wedge?

Even chess - yes, chess - has tinkered with drug testing. Players at the Asian Games in December were tested. The World Chess Federation hoped that by raising international standards, chess might eventually be recognized as an Olympic sport.

Tough to imagine how steroids would help win a chess match. Roid Rage meets Rook Rage. Is that really what we've come to?

Sadly, yes.

Few sports enjoy the history, tradition and etiquette of golf. Even in an era of multimillion dollar paydays, it has retained a gentlemanly quality. Players respect and adhere to its long-standing rules and regulations.

The game can be relaxing, entertaining, challenging and maddening, all in the same round.

But dirty?

That's not even on the radar.

Yes, tee shots are traveling farther down the fairway. Courses have been lengthened in response to booming drives. Does that mean players are enhanced, or should the focus be on equipment? As with racquets in tennis, technology has had a major impact on golf clubs and balls.

Still, it's far more trendy and politically correct to test Tiger Woods than a 5-iron. Proving innocence has become the priority in sports, one sample at a time.

So here's your cup, Mr. Woods.

Fore!

Randy Kindred is a Pantagraph columnist. To leave him a voice mail, call 820-3402. By e-mail: rkindred@pantagraph.com. The Randy Kindred Blog is at www.pantagraph.com/blogs