FLICK FLAK, random thoughts on Viagra, cold sheets, your 3 ounces of shampoo or mouthwash on an airline, and other such life obsessions:
Have you noticed the weather was never this bad until the Weather Channel started giving the storms names?
- Why is it a cold pillow always feels good, but not cold sheets?
- Do we now call the Obama administration the Lame Duck Dynasty?
- If it's still legal to eat a hamburger as you drive, or apply your makeup, or smoke a cigarette, how long before some crafty cellphone maker simply begins making special models that look like something other than a telephone?
- Five more TV folk you either fully love, or almost instantly change the channel:
-- Kathy Griffin.
-- Stephanie Abrams.
-- Kathy Lee Gifford.
-- Honey Boo Boo.
-- Those two broke girls.
- Ever wonder why they still endlessly run all the Viagra commercials? Is there any man left who has that issue, is not aware there's now a possible solution and is instead sitting at home, watching a football game on TV, when suddenly he exclaims, "My heavens, I need to get some of that."
- Are there too many TV shows on TV anymore or do we just now need a 62-hour day?
- Is there anything more inexplicably satisfying than kicking off a huge snow chunk from under your car’s wheel well and hearing that “splat!” as the entire chunk comes off?
- Something else you discover by googling: If you google "alastair willis," you get the director of the Illinois Symphony Orchestra. But try "alasdhair willis" and you get the husband of Stella McCartney, daughter of Paul.
- If the "C" on my calculator is for "clear," just what does the "CE" button do? Does anyone actually know?
- Another example of just how really weird we are: We pay $10 to go to the top of the St. Louis Arch to look down and see just where we were.
- Was it just me or did the sharpener on a 64-count Crayola Crayon box never work very well?
- Flock Flak:
-- "Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, might it be time now to instead change the locks?" (John Eckley, Bloomington)
-- "If the Postal Service is so financially strapped, why don't they just sell the USPS to UPS or FedEx? They seem to be able to make money delivering stuff and don't whine about it." (Mike Flood, Normal)
-- "If price and worth are synonyms, how come priceless and worthless are antonyms?" (Dr. Pete Weber, Olney)
- How come they never put cough drops in the office vending machines? That's one of the few thing we might actually need.
- Whatever happened to Dan Quayle, the Indiana senator who became vice president under George Bush?
- Another way to know these are different times: You can barely tell the war movie previews from the video-game TV commercials.
- Now a dozen years after a significant tightening to airplane security, aren't you still trying to figure out how more than three ounces of your shampoo or mouthwash can somehow blow up the plane?
- Is it just me or are actors like Will Ferrell and Jim Carrey like cotton candy? You love them and then suddenly, OK, stop, that's enough.
- Finally, have you noticed iPads have become a carry-around utensil of gobs of women but not nearly as many men? Is it because they can be carried in a purse and not a wallet? Or is a man's phone more than enough?
Flick is at firstname.lastname@example.org.