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Our March listings, as offered by our loyal readers and your own resident Flick Lite Boy:

Biggest Valentine’s surprise

Jack Ritter is former zookeeper at Bloomington's Miller Park Zoo; his wife, Linda, is a former office administrator at Heartland Community College and Illinois State University. They met 53 years ago, fell in love, married and as a sign of their continued affection for each other, went out this past Valentine's Day to buy each other a card and exchange them, to await each other's surprise.

It was indeed a surprise.

How well do Jack and Linda know each other after 53 years?

They got each other the exact same card.

Latest interesting want-ad offer

As it appeared recently in the "Livingston, Polk County — Buy, Sell & Trade Guide:"

“Teeth, full set, $100. Used but only worn 3 times.”

Newest big double-take

As appears the advertised special in the window of one B-N grocery:

"Fresh Atlantic Salmon, Farm-Raised"

As one reader puts it: "I am most impressed by the size of this grocery chain's farm to raise salmon."

Funniest channel-surfing observation

On the night of President Donald Trump's first State of the Union address, opposite his address, the movie channel, AMC, was showing the 1993 movie, “Demolition Man.”

Latest unfortunate mishap with auto-correct

As appeared the arrest record recently in one Logan County newspaper:

“Milton Phillips, 38, of Broadview, was arrested by Illinois State Police on charges of unlawful passion of a weapon by a felon.”

As later asked one reader: “What do you suppose he was doing with that?”

Newest example of people of color

When can, of all things, the obituary page be colorful?

Primarily when, like the other day in the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette newspaper, there was a Black, a Blue, a Greene and a Brown.

Three More Fun Places To Visit, If Only For Their Names

(As offered by readers:)

— Zig, Mo. 

— Zag, Ky. 

— Zigzag, Ore.

Oddest 'sale' item 

A store in LeRoy had a recent “sale” on Miller Lite beer — "As advertised," read the sign, "$13.99."

What was unusual: the regular price was listed as $12.99.

Latest competition for ‘Normal’

Over in Missouri, near Kansas City, reader Peter D. Visel has discovered another town with a unique name — Tightwad — and snapped a picture of the sign at the Tightwad Bank.

As you might also notice from the picture, someone apparently needs to spring to pay to have the bank sign fixed, too.

'Nosiest' roadway advisory

"THIS VEHICLE MAKES

FRAGRANT STOPS"

— On the back of a Forget Me Not Flowers delivery truck.

Biggest loser

Sadly, it apparently it is Illinois.

New Census Bureau data shows only eight states lost population in 2017, with no state losing more residents than our own Illinois.

Thanks, Springfield.

Best Name Club

— Amy Freeze. From Chicago, she does the weather on weekend broadcasts of the ABC Evening News. 

— Jhared Hack. He’s on this year’s pro golfers (PGA) tour. 

— Cheryl Strayed. A popular fiction writer, she recently shifted gears and has done readings from "The Vagina Monologues" at colleges and seminars in America. 

Newest issue in these amazing times

Becoming the first higher court in America to hear such a case, the New Hampshire Supreme Court will rule soon on a case that involves three women who were arrested for being topless at a beach in Laconia, N.H., and joined a "Free the Nipple" movement, a global campaign that argues women should be able to go topless since men have always been able to go shirtless and never face arrest … 

Got an item for Flick Lite? Email to: bflick@pantagraph.com or post on the Bill Flick Facebook page. By regular mail: Flick Lite, The Pantagraph, 301 W. Washington, Bloomington, IL, 61702-2907.

Our March board of contributors: Stew Salowitz, Tom Parrent, Roger Miller, Cathy Ferme and Roger Hughes, Normal; Bob Meador, Lincoln; Peter D. Visel, Hudson; Christine Gallup, Pontiac; Lee Templeton, Palmview, Texas; Melissa Melton, LeRoy; Rhonda Gordon, Penfield; Bob Troutt and Gayla Hahn, Clinton; Gary Beck, Doug Clemens and Bob Bradley, Bloomington.

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